The Musical World of Rocky Horror

Common Song Lyric Tags

Richard Hartley: 41 song lyrics

Some people do it for compassion
Some people do it for the fashion
Some people do it to be funny
Some people do it for the money
Some people do it for enslavement
Some people do it on the pavement
But...

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
No matter how the wind is blowing

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
We just gotta keep going

Some people do it for each other
Some people do it for their lover
Some people do it for improvement
Some people do it for the movement
Some people do it for enjoyment
Some people do it for employment
But...

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
No matter how the wind is blowing

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
We just gotta keep going

Brighton, Brighton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is, you're OK
Brighton, Brighton, you've got no pretension
You're the acceptable face
Of the human race
You're Brighton, Brighton, U.K.

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
No matter how the wind is blowing

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
We just gotta keep going
We just gotta keep going
We just gotta keep going

We just gotta keep going!

TAGS: Anyhow, Anyhow Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien Shock Treatment Shock Treatment Lyrics Soundtrack
Includes the "Denton, U.S.A." reprise at the end of the track. "The sun never sets on those who ride into it..." Music and lyrics by Richard Hartley and Richard O'Brien.
Brad Majors

Some people do it for compassion

Janet Majors

Some people do it for the fashion

Brad Majors

Some people do it to be funny

Janet Majors

Some people do it for the money

Judge Oliver Wright

Some people do it for enslavement

Betty Hapschatt

Some people do it on the pavement

Judge Oliver Wright

But

Chorus

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
No matter how the wind is blowing

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
We just gotta keep going

Brad and Janet

Some people do it for each other

Oliver and Betty

Some people do it for their lover

Brad and Janet

Some people do it for improvement

Oliver and Betty

Some people do it for the movement

Brad and Janet

Some people do it for enjoyment

Oliver and Betty

Some people do it for employment

Judge Oliver Wright

But

Chorus

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
No matter how the wind is blowing

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
We just gotta keep going

Studio Audience

Denton, Denton, you've got (clap) no pretension
You're (clap) where the heart is, you're OK
Denton, Denton, you've got (clap) no pretension
You're (clap) the acceptable face
(clap) Of the human race (clap)
You're (clap) Denton, Denton, U.S.A.

Chorus

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
No matter how the wind is blowing

We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it anyhow, anyhow
We're going to do it
We just gotta keep going
We just gotta keep going
We just gotta keep going

We just gotta keep going!

I was born to be the queen of beauty
Style and poise
But oh this competition's tough
I'm up against those boys
The title I am after baby
Is my greatest dream

I wanna be a beauty
I wanna be a beauty
I wanna be a beauty queen

I'll join a gym, and silicone
And tan my body gold
What's beneath that swimsuit's
Gonna knock those judges cold
Charisma is no problem
I'll just dress to kill

I wanna be a beauty
I wanna be a beauty
I wanna be a beauty queen

La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la-a

Hobbies, well I love to cook
And give to charity
Ambitions are to be a mom
And gain my Ph. D.
Come on and crown me winner
I'll shed those tears of joy
Oh...

I wanna be a beauty
I wanna be a beauty
I wanna be a beauty queen

La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la-a

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Al Wheeler and Deadpan Dolores. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Deadpan Dolores
and Al Wheeler

Beware of the thief who steals your belief
Beware of the smile with the perfect teeth
Beware of the wolf dressed up as a sheep
Beware of the pill that makes you sleep
Beware of strangers bearing gifts
Beware of hot-shots wearing lifts
Beware of the dark
And never, ever trust a grinning shark
Because, once-bitten, twice shy
And the bite is somehow more than a suggestion
Once is an accident
Twice is coincidence
But three times, begs the question
Beware of jumped-up guards, and bumped-up odds
Beware of "gorillas" packing rods
Beware of "little Miss Understood"
Beware of the gypsies in the wood
Beware of the man with the carpetbag
Beware of the drunk when he starts to gag
Beware of the dog
And never kiss a chick who kissed a frog
What kind of a girl do you think I am? (spoken)
Once-bitten, twice shy
And the biter rarely gets the indigestion
Once is an accident
Twice is coincidence
But three times, begs the question, begs the question, begs the question

Brad Majors

Dear blender
Oh won't you help a first offender
Oh, toaster
Don't you put the burn on me
Refrigerator, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night

Dear knife drawer
Now won't you help me to face life more
Oh, trashcan
Don't you put the dirt on me
Oh percolator, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night

Janet Majors

Everything used to be OK
But I've been had
And Brad, I'm glad to say, is on his way
Micro-digital awaker, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night

Shower curtain
Oh won't you help me to be certain
Oh, toothpaste
Don't you put the squeeze on me
Depilitator, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night

Tell me spectator, why are always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night!

TAGS: Breaking Out Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien Shock Treatment Shock Treatment Lyrics Soundtrack
Includes dialogue for the intro to Brad and Farley's "Duel Duet", which is present at the end of the track on the soundtrack album. Music and lyrics by Richard Hartley and Richard O'Brien.
Ralph Hapschatt

With a suburban garage sound
Let's hear it for Oscar Drill and the Bits!

Bit

One, two, one two three four

Oscar Drill

I know how it feels
To be cooling my heels
I've been down on them
Long enough
But if I take to them now
Then maybe somehow
You'll see through the bluff
I'm not playing it tough

Chorus

I've been a lifetime on deposit
And that's a long time in the closet

Oscar Drill

And if you say to me

Chorus

How was it?

Oscar Drill

It was hard taking
That heart breaking
God forsaken route
But I'm

Chorus

Buh buh buh buh buh buh

Oscar Drill

Breaking out!
Ooh!

You may say that you choose
To be in my shoes
But look what it
Did for me
I got buried alive
I don't thrive on that jive
Look and you'll see
That the spikes don't fit me

Chorus

I've been a lifetime on deposit
And that's a long time in the closet

Oscar Drill

And if you say to me

Chorus

How was it?

Oscar Drill

It was hard taking
That heart breaking
God forsaken route
But I'm

Chorus

Buh buh buh buh buh buh

Studio Audience

Breaking out!

Oscar Drill

Breaking out!

Studio Audience

Breaking out!

Oscar Drill

Uh!

Audience Member

Ah! It's a crazy guy!

Brad Majors

Seducer!

Farley Flavors

And, who are you sir?

Brad Majors

Your twin brother and your accuser!

Janet Majors

Brad!

Cosmo McKinley

Arrest that man, he's committed to our care!

Janet Majors

I never signed your contract
He's not going anywhere

Judge Oliver Wright

Revenge, your twin, you tried to abuse her

Farley Flavors

A ridiculous accusation!
You force me to refuse her

Brad Majors

Then why did you choose her?

Farley Flavors

Because of you, sir

Who is the one true friend of America?
Friend of her people from farmer to Senator
Keeping America safe from the predator
So that the weak and the meek shall inherit her
Who in the fight for our rights always wins them all
Wielding justice from above!
Who stands for me and for you and for principle
Captain Invincible, that's who!

A wop bop pow!
And a right!
Put up a fight
And put out your lights
Wham bam splat!
And you K.O.
You are America's dream!
America
I'm wrapped
I'm trapped
I've been sapped
'Till I'm insensible
I'm trapped
I'm wrapped
In Captain Invincible

A wop bop pow!
And a right!
Put up a fight
And put out your lights
Wham bam splat!
And you K.O.
You are America's dream!
America
I'm wrapped
I'm trapped
I've been sapped
'Till I'm insensible
I'm trapped
I'm wrapped
In Captain Invincible
Invincible, Invincible
Invincible, Invincible

Background Singers

Carte Blanche is like an avalanche
It kinda snowballs and sets you free
Ahhhhhh ah
Carte Blanche is like an avalanche
It kinda snowballs and sets you free
Ahhhhhh ah
Carte Blanche is like an avalanche
It kinda snowballs and sets you free
Ahhhhhh ah

Janet Majors

So if you're looking for a standard
To which you can aspire
Then baby, look at me!
Oh oh oh!
Look at me!

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Sgt. Polnik. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Sgt. Polnik

If you want something enough, you'll get it
It's just a matter of concentration
I knew someday
I'd get my way
I'm going to get me a list of names
Names of a bundle of dames
And one by one, I'll charm them with some witty conversation
It's my turn
You're gonna see the lamb become a lion
It's my turn
I've got more than my share to get me by on
So if envy turns you weak
And your love life's looking bleak
As the tears roll down your cheek
I'll just say "Cry on!"
If you want a powder puff, forget it
In fact, my act's kind of underrated
I knew sometime
I'd get what's mine
You see, I've gone and got it fixed
To mix with considerable chicks
And when we're done they'll know that it was fickle finger fated
It's my turn
You're gonna see the lamb become a lion
It's my turn
I've got more than my share to get me by on
So if envy turns you weak
And your love life's looking bleak
As the tears roll down your cheek
I'll just say "Cry on!"
Chickens everywhere
Will be desirous of my savoir-faire
All the guys gonna stop and stare
And wish they had my flair
I'll just turn around casually and say
It's my turn
You're gonna see the lamb become a lion
It's my turn
I've got more than my share to get me by on
So if envy turns you weak
And your love life's looking bleak
As the tears roll down your cheek
I'll just say "Cry on!"
"Cry on!"
"Cry on!"

On a tropical isle
I'd walk for a mile
Just to hear a jukebox play
In the sizzling heat - Ooh!
I must have raw feet
And dance that cocktail Latin way - Hey
I'm not laid back at all
Just wanna have me a ball
In a crosscut and slacks, Wooh! - I never relax
And palm trees will sway as I say
Oh, I'm gonna sing in the sun every day
Oh, I'm gonna dance dance dance
That cocktail Latin way

Oh, the moon on the bay
It shimmers away
As I hula hoop on the sand
Oooh, waves on the beach
Within easy reach
Paradise is so carefully planned, and
I just peeled me a grape
Don't ever want to escape - No!
No sugar tax or income tax
Or things I just don't understand
Oh, I'm gonna sing in the sun every day
Oh, I'm gonna dance dance dance
That cocktail Latin way

Oh, I'm gonna sing in the sun every day
Oh, I'm gonna dance dance dance
That cocktail Latin way

Sherry Mendez

Mi hombre de Los Angeles (NOTE 1)
Mi hombre de las sombras
Mi hombre you are a stray
That's why you play around
But there is no need for enticement
For I burrrrrrrrrning with excitement
Mi hombre of the angels
Mi hombre of the shadows

Mysterious Whisper

(In the night)

Sherry Mendez

All cats are brown

Al Wheeler

Grey!

Sherry Mendez

No, Brown!!!!

Mi hombre de sospechas (NOTE 2)
Mi hombre de encanto (NOTE 3)
Mi hombre you say someday
You want to settle down
But there's no need for decision
"Por tu" plan that's in collision (NOTE 4)
Mi hombre of decision
Mi hombre of delight

Mysterious Whisper

(In the night)

Sherry Mendez

All cats are brown

Sgt. Polnik

Grey!

Sherry Mendez

No, Brown!!!!

You can flatter me, mi hombre
When the lights are down
But no matter what you would say
In the night
All cats are brown

NOTE 1: These first two lines translate as "My man is from Los Angeles (the City of the Angels), My man is from the shadows".
NOTE 2: This is a "best fit" guess to what everyone heard ("sus esperchace" and "de suspechas") and it approximately means "My man of suspicions" or "My man above suspicions". To fit with the scheme of the first verse, it should have to do with "decision", not "suspicion".
NOTE 3: "de encanto" means "of delight". Assumably, Sherry is referring to sexual pleasure previously brought to her by Al.
NOTE 4: "Por tu" means "for your" or "for you" so this translates as "For your plan is in collision".

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Doc Murphy, Al Wheeler, Sgt. Polnik, and Sheriff Lavers. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Voice

Her name's Deadpan Dolores
She works as a stripper in some dump called "The Club Extravaganza"

Solo #1

Deadpan Dolores is more than just your average bump and grind
She owns a pink and golden skin
That somehow fits within
A G-string that's been carelessly designed

Solo #2

Deadpan Dolores is hotter than two supernova suns
She don't need no hunk of bra (NOTE)
To hide no telltale scars -- she's a big star
And you want to see her buns

Chorus

Deadpan Dolores - too hot for the chorus
She makes the sweat pump out of your pores
Your heart jumps as the temperature soars

Various Solo Voices

Arousing!
Exotic!
Suggestive!
Erotic!

Chorus

Delectable Deadpan Dolores
Delectable Deadpan Dolores
(Musical Interlude)
Tell us about it Wheeler!

Al Wheeler

Deadpan Dolores is going to get a visit from the man
God willing she'll start spilling
The evidence is thrilling
How fulfilling
Just to weigh it in my hands

Chorus

Deadpan Dolores - too hot for the chorus
She makes the sweat pump out of your pores
Your heart jumps as the temperature soars

Various Solo Voices

Fragrant!
And flirty!
Flagrantly
Dirty!

Chorus

Delectable Deadpan Dolores
Delectable Deadpan Dolores

NOTE: One person heard "half-cut bra".

TAGS: Denton, U.S.A. Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien Shock Treatment Shock Treatment Lyrics Soundtrack
Includes dialogue for the Farley Flavors' Fabulous Fast Foods (F for...) commercial, which is present at the end of the track on the soundtrack album. Music and lyrics by Richard Hartley and Richard O'Brien.
Neely Pritt

You'll find happy hearts, and smiling faces
And tolerance for the ethnic races - in Denton

Harry Weiss

You'll find a rambling rose and a picket fence

Emily Weiss

Tenderness and innocence - in Denton

Vance Parker

You'll find conference rooms
And a children's playground
Denton is a real OK town
Civic pride and civic duty
And Denton girls are
(wolf whistle)
Full of beauty

Cheerleaders

You may call us the goody goody two shoes
We're here to cheer you with the good news
That D-E-N-T-O-N gets T-E-N
That's ten out of ten!

Ralph Hapschatt

If you're looking for a life of leisure

Macy Struthers

You're going to get a whole lot to please ya

Ralph Hapschatt

Again and again

Macy Struthers

And again and again

Ralph and Macy

And again!

Studio Audience

Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is, you're OK
Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth
You're America's truth
You're Denton, Denton, U.S.A.

Emily Weiss

This is the Mecca of America

Harry Weiss

The Bethlehem of the West

Emily Weiss

This is the birthplace of the virtuous

Harry Weiss

The home of happiness

Macy Struthers

Leisurewise, we're sure you will adapt

Ralph Hapschatt

Enjoy your stay, have a happy holiday

Cheerleaders

And we'll all put Denton, Denton, on the map

Studio Audience

Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is, you're OK
Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth
You're America's truth
You're Denton, Denton, U.S.A.

Denton, Denton, you've got (clap) no pretension
You're (clap) where the heart is, you're OK
Denton, Denton, I'd just (clap) like to mention
You're (clap) the acceptable face
(clap) Of the human race
You're (clap) Denton, Denton, U.S.A.

Betty Hapschatt

And now for a commercial break

Macy Struthers

OK kids, lets hear the five Fs for today. F for...

Kids

Farley!

Macy Struthers

F for...

Kids

Flavors!

Macy Struthers

F for...

Kids

Fabulous!

Macy Struthers

F for...

Kids

Fast!

Macy Struthers

F for...

Kids

Food!

Commercial Announcer

First and foremost, Farley Flavors fabulous fast foods
Feed and fortify families for a fabulous future

Studio Announcer

Standby for Marriage Maze

At a swim pool party last long weekend
I found some real cool fun in the deep end
From the patio juke a bop beat wailed
I splashed to the beat and off I sailed

I did the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
I did the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
I did the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
I did the swim

Now come with me, you gotta look cute
Get all decked out in a trim swimsuit
Rush to the pool and dive right in
Come up for air, and then you start to swim

You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim

Move your arms and kick your feet
Do a dog paddle to the squishy beat
Wave your hands up very high
And start to do some butterflies

Turn right over onto your back
And backstroke quick from a shark attack - Oh!
??? on now for the best of all
Do it with me, the Australian crawl

You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim

You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim

Just one more lap!

You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim
(Splash splash, she's a mer-mermaid)
You do the swim

Farley Flavors

You're a loser
An abomination in the eyes of any sensitive man

Brad Majors

And you're a blind alley cruiser
Always heading down a losing street
Dreaming that you're screaming at fate
You're a dead end, dead beat, nowhere Mister
With a kiss like a Mississippi alligator's sister

Farley Flavors

I took as much of you as any man can!
You've lost your heart

Brad Majors

You've lost your cause

Farley Flavors

You lost your baby
When you lost your balls
You lost your mind
You've lost your grip
So say bye-bye!

Brad Majors

We lost our Mom
We lost our Dad
And if I'm losing you
Well that's too bad

Farley Flavors

Well the best thing you could ever do is die

Brad Majors

You're a failure
A malformation in the guise of many
An also ran

Farley Flavors

And you're a weeper and a whiner!
Always treading on the toes of the great
Generally spreading your weight
You're a spiteful, hateful, assinine creature
A pupil with no scruples who's no better than the teacher

Brad Majors

I took as much of you as any man can

Farley Flavors

You've lost your heart

Brad Majors

You've lost your cause

Farley Flavors

You lost your baby
When you lost your balls
You lost your mind
When you lost your grip
So say bye-bye!

Brad Majors

We lost our home
Our family
You've lost compassion
Now you're losing me

Farley Flavors

Well the best thing you could ever do is die

Brad Majors

Well the best thing you could ever do is die

Farley Flavors

Well the best thing you could ever do is die!

Captain Invincible

I had chums in the Wall Street crash
Who made a hash of their sums
And burned their mothers for cash
They turned into bums in a flash
I've known monkeys who were doing OK
Who met flunkies that would blow you away
They were junkies in less than a day
There are pushers and hoodlums of great dedication
That without hesitation supply medication
One minute you're a looker that looked
And the next you're a hooker that's hooked

Mr. Midnight

Long before the great Big Bang
There was evil in the Void
Long before the first bird sang
Evil was enjoyed

Captain Invincible

Long before the dawn of man
There was born an evil plan
Believe me when I say that
There's no other side to Midnight

Hold on, sit tight
You never ever did right
Roll on Midnight
You're spoiling for the big fight
Mr. Evil Midnight

Mr. Midnight

Long before the sands of time
There was evil doing well
Long before the birth of crime
There was evil building Hell

Captain Invincible

Long before the Age of Reason
Evil waged unholy treason
Believe me that no mother
Ever cried for Midnight

Chorus

He's a creature of a thousand disguises

Captain Invincible

But the man behind the mask
Remains the same

Chorus

If he's really who you think he is,
You're in for some surprises.
What a ???. What a ???.
What a ??? ??? ??? ???.

Mr. Midnight

Long before the crack of doom
There was evil in the air
Long before we left the womb
There was evil everywhere

Captain Invincible

Long before the troupe was found
Evil used to cruise around
Believe me, it's a one-way
Ride for Midnight

Captain Invincible and Chorus

Hold on, sit tight
You never ever did right
Roll on Midnight
You're spoiling for the big fight
Mr. Evil Midnight

Captain Invincible

Now I'm gonna keep my grip tight

Mr. Midnight

I'm going to take a big bite

Captain Invincible

Gonna get a big fight
Mr. Evil Midnight

Chorus

Mr. Evil Midnight

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Patty Keller, Al Wheeler, Sgt. Polnik, and Sheriff Lavers. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Chorus

There's trouble in Pine City
There's trouble in Pine City
Trouble
Trouble
Trouble
Trouble
Trou----ble

Well, falling, falling, falling
This drop's impossible
Think, don't panic
Young women shouldn't be so manic (NOTE)

Various Solo Voices

Did she jump?
Was she pushed?
Or did she fall?

Patty Keller

I've fallen for love
I've fallen for guys
I've fallen for jokes
I've fallen for alibis
I've fallen on hard times
I've fallen for lines
I've fallen from grace
I've fallen in my own eyes
The adrenaline's flowing
There's a strange sense knowing it all
But did I jump?
Was I pushed?
Or did I fall?

Chorus

Falling, falling, falling
This drop's impossible
Think, don't panic
Young women shouldn't be so manic (NOTE)

Various Solo Voices

Did she jump?
Was she pushed?
Or did she fall?

Patty Keller

I've fallen from virtue
I've fallen for vice
I've fallen on hard times
I've fallen for alibis
I've fallen on deaf ears
I've fallen for lies
I've fallen in debt
I've fallen too many times
The adrenaline's flowing
There's a strange sense knowing it all
But did I jump?
Was I pushed?
Or did I fall?

Chorus

Well, falling, falling, falling
This drop's impossible
Think, don't panic
Young women shouldn't be so manic (NOTE)

Various Solo Voices

Did she jump?
Was she pushed?
Or did she fall?

NOTE: One person heard "Your whim shouldn't be so manic".

Farley Flavors

Oh, why aren't they doing
Tomorrow's new dance steps
The way they used to yesterday
And who draws a perfect circle anymore

And if you're waiting for greatness
To shake hands with you
You better daydream your life away
I've only wanted one thing and that's for sure

Cosmo, Nation, Ricky, and Ansalong

You're not just looking at a fast food king
Just another well known face
You're not looking at a king of anything

Farley Flavors

I'm gonna shoot for the moon
I'm gonna play high noon
I'm gonna take on the entire human race

Cosmo, Nation, Ricky, and Ansalong

You're not looking at a king

Farley

You're looking at an ace

Oooh, I've got the sight
And I've seen the light
And I'm gonna see the coming day
When the sun in the sky
Is a spotlight just for me

I want to take my time
And rock some rhyme
Oh, it's gonna take your breath away
You'll be the front page rage of the age
Just wait and see

Cosmo, Nation, Ricky, and Ansalong

You're not just looking at a fast food king
Just another well known face
You're not looking at the king of anything

Farley Flavors

We're gonna shoot for the moon
We're gonna play high noon
We're gonna take on the entire human race

Cosmo, Nation, Ricky, and Ansalong

You're not looking at a king

Farley

No no no no no
You're looking at an ace

Cosmo, Nation, Ricky, and Ansalong

You're looking at an ace

Farley

You're looking at a goddamn ace

Cosmo, Nation, Ricky, and Ansalong

You're looking at an ace

Farley

You're looking at an ace

Cosmo, Nation, Ricky, and Ansalong

You're looking at an ace

Farley

You're looking at an a-a-a-a-ace

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Harvey Stern. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Harvey Stern

You've heard of
Immaculate hearts
And sacred hearts
And hearts of oak
And hearts of gold
Hearts in the right place
And hearts in the mouth
And hearts that break
And hearts so bold
But the heart I could talk about for hours
Is the heart at the start of "hearts and flowers"
Oh, hearts and flowers
Are tokens of precious love
Take my heart and red roses
In regular daily doses
Take my heart and an orchid
You know who the two are for, kid
Hearts and flowers
Are symbols of sweetest faith
Take my heart and some sweet pea
And tell me you're mine completely
Take my heart and a fuschia
And tell me that we've got a future
Hearts and flowers
Are sweeter than anything
So look me in the i-ris
And tell me no lies
Cling to me like ivy
'til the snow drops dry
If daisies drive you crazy
Then you know why
I love those
Hearts
Hearts
And flowers
Get'cha right there, don't it? (spoken)

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Harvey Stern. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Harvey Stern

I confess
I made her life a mess
I confess
I never showed her happiness
And I confess
I knew of her distress
I confess
I confess
I told her to undress
Oooh, I confess
She pleaded with me not to press
And I confess
I may have lacked finesse
But I didn't understand, I didn't even guess
She was looking for the real thing
Looking out for love and tenderness
Now, I'm sorry
Dead sorry
I didn't understand, I didn't even guess
I confess
She shrank from my caress
I confess
I may have used undue duress
And I confess
My actions were grotesque
But I didn't understand, I didn't even guess
She was looking for the real thing
Looking out for love and tenderness
Now, I'm sorry
Dead sorry
I didn't understand, I didn't even guess
She was looking for the real thing
I confess!

Janet Majors

If only you knew how to win some prizes
If only you knew how to play
If you could sleep nights
Stop your crying
Then you might find out I still love you in my own way

If that's not enough then I am so sorry I met you
It was almost like leading you on
But there's more to it all
Than just wringing your heart out over something
That keeps on going wrong

So don't tell me you love me
How am I supposed to know what that means
No don't sell emotion
You can't find devotion
If you're falling apart at the seams

I hope that you smile
When you reach your conclusion
I hope that you'll know just what to say
But if it should mean that the party's over
You should know that I still love you
You should know that I still love you
You should know that I still love you
In my own way
In my own way
In my own way
In my own way

Cosmo McKinley

Ever since I was a little boy
Dressing up has always been my greatest joy
But when it's time to be discreet
There's one thing you just can't beat
And that's a strapless backless classical little black dress

Well first you go rip rip rip
Then you go snip snip snip
Then you whip in a zip zip zip
And split it up to the hip hip hip
And as you strip strip strip
You shiver, and quiver, for that soft caress
As you slip slip slip
Into that little black dress

Bert Schnick

Ever since I was the eina kliena heiren
It was the cordon bleu
For which I am most caring
And the one taste treat so sweet
That really can't be beat
Is what we have here, how you are, caviar
That little black mess

Janet Majors

Well first you go rip rip rip
Then you go snip snip snip
Then you whip in a zip zip zip
Split it up to the hip hip hip
And as you strip strip strip
Oh you quiver, shiver, for that soft caress
As you slip slip slip
Into that little black dress

That minimal (minimal)
Criminal (criminal)
Siniful little black dress

Nation McKinley

Let's face it Mac that basic black is coming back

Bert Schnick

Let's face it Mac that basic black is coming back

Nation and Bert

Let's face it Mac that basic black is coming back

Janet Majors

That minimal (minimal)
Criminal (criminal)
Siniful little black dress

Emily Weiss

Like a virgin with an urgin in a surgery
I'll be swinging, I'll be bringing out the nurse in me

Harry Weiss

The art will start when I play my part
As a healer who will steal your heart

Harry and Emily

Oh, look what I did to my Id
Oh, look what I did to my Id

Cosmo McKinley

With neurosis in profusion

Nation McKinley

And psychosis in your soul

Cosmo McKinley

Eliminate confusion

Cosmo and Nation

And hide inside a brand new role

Macy Struthers

Like a good time girl, I'm gonna try some new tricks

Ralph Hapschatt

This could be the start of a whole new career

Macy Struthers

Got a deep plum lipstick, and some therapeutics

Ralph Hapschatt

This could take us to a town that's nowhere near here

Nurse Ansalong

Got some heartfelt symptoms and I'm feeling sneaky

Rest Home Ricky

Young male intern, tall and handsome

Nurse Ansalong

Got my hems so high, they say I'm being cheeky

Rest Home Ricky

Legs like mine are really made for dancing

Chorus

Whoa whoa whoa!
Hey hey hey!

Cosmo and Nation

When heaven's in the music
Hell is in control
The angels got the voices
But the devil got the Rock and Roll!

Chorus

We may look like we're phony medics
But we took our look from a book by Frederick's
Oh, look what I did to my Id - Id!
Look what I did to my Id

Janet Majors

I'm in a cul de sac
And I gotta go back
So come on feet
We're gonna hit the streets
We've got it made
I'm looking for trade

Brad Majors

I'm looking for love!

Janet Majors

I'm looking for trade
I need some young blood
I need some young blood
I need it now

I need some young blood
I need some young blood

Chorus

And we're gonna get it somehow

Janet Majors

I'm on a dead end street
I'm like a dog in heat
I'm like a kid with no toys
I wanna get those boys
Oooh, I can't delay
I'm looking for trade

Brad Majors

I'm looking for love!

Janet Majors

I'm looking for trade

Oh, we're all living
Like there's no tomorrow
The way things are going
That's probably true
But without you and me, sis
The world would fall to pieces
Vena Cava, who's the raver?

Chorus

Our raving savior, that's you

Janet Majors

I'm on a primrose path
I'm looking for a little laugh
Remember, it's no fun
To be the chosen one
There are games to be played
Looking for trade

Brad Majors

I'm looking for love!

Janet Majors

I'm looking for trade!
I need some

Chorus

Young blood

Janet Majors

I need some

Chorus

Young blood

Janet Majors

I need it now
Ohhhhh, I need some

Chorus

Young blood

Janet Majors

I need some

Chorus

Young blood

Janet Majors

And I'm gonna get it somehow
I'm looking for trade!

Nation McKinley

I feel the heat from your skin
And the stubble on your chin
You're no good

Cosmo McKinley

You're no good

Nation McKinley

You've got dirt on your hands
And everybody understands
You're no good

Cosmo McKinley

Mmmm...you're no good

Nation McKinley

Oh, what a joke

Cosmo McKinley

What a joke

Nation McKinley

You feel like choking
You play for broke

Cosmo McKinley

You play for broke

Nation McKinley

He'll leave you smoking

Cosmo McKinley

Oh, romance is not a children's game

Nation McKinley

But you keep going back
It's driving you insane

Janet Majors

Drift into the Treacle deep
Slip into its silent depths
(Go to sleep)
With your everything akimbo
Float into the sandman's limbo

Nurse Ansalong

Night night

Rest Home Ricky

Night night

Nurse Ansalong

It's time for bye-byes
It's been a great day, thanks a heap
Now it's time for everyone to go to sleep

Studio Audience

Night night
It's time for bye-byes
It's been a great day, thanks a heap
Now it's time for everyone to go to sleep

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Al Wheeler. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Al Wheeler

I've heard people say "I Love You!"
When they really mean "I'd Love To!"
They sing evasive phrases
Full of euphemistic praises
So I hope I won't cause friction
If I expose the swollen dic---tion

I want to fondle your tits
I want to kiss-a your lips
You frazzles my nerves
With your wonderful curves
You dazzle my eyes
With electrical thighs
Your body's terrific
To be more specific
I don't know which part to start on
You make me feel
Like a man of steel
Baby, you give me a hard-on

I wanna rip off your clothes
And suck on your toes
do the "primitive dance"
With my hand in your pants
Want to dribble and leer
With my tongue in your ear
Your body's fantastic
You're driving me frantic
I don't want to beg your pardon
You make me feel
Like a man of steel
Baby, you give me a hard-on

If you play hard-to-get
You rarely get got
Why side-step the fact when your pants are red hot
Let's forget crashing waves and the rest of that smokescreen jargon
You make me feel
Like a man of steel
Baby, you give me a hard-on

You make me feel
Like a man of steel
You give me a hard-on

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Sheriff Lavers. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Sheriff Lavers

I'm a man of the people
I comply with their wishes
And when my wife washes up, I still dry the dishes
I'm not saying that I never,
Ever harbor dirty thoughts
I'm a red-blooded male, and I still look good in shorts
Well, I'm just a member of the team
That implements the law
Not a solo operator I got "esprit de corps"
But I've never had fun
like Peter Gunn
I've never, ever been a scene-stealer
I've never seen glamour
like that guy Mike Hammer (NOTE 1)
And I'm stuck with Lieutenant Al Wheeler
I can separate the good guys
From all those other bums
It's the right of every citizen
To marry chicks and carry guns (NOTE 2)
I shoot straight from the shoulder
I won't be diverted
And let those stinkin' pinko commies
Preach to the perverted
We got a beach
And freedom of speech
So what's Moscow's big attraction?
There's only one red
I want under my bed
And that's a red-head
Under the bed
Head hot for action
HEE-HAW!

NOTE 1: All of us can only hear "Mike _____", and it sounds like Hammond. "Mike Hammer" being a Mickey Spillane detective, and rhyming with "glamour" makes sense.
NOTE 2: One person heard "Americans should carry guns".

Janet Majors

There's just the two of me
Alone at last together
We've got the luck so far
We are my lucky star
(Star star star star star star star star...)

Deep in the heart of me
I love every part of me
All I can see in me
Is danger and ecstasy
One thing there couldn't be
Is any more me in me

Cheerleaders

This is the me of me
Me me me

Janet and Cheerleaders

Me me
Me me me
Me me me

Janet Majors

I am my destiny
Je croie en toujour en moi, ha ha
I'd never lie to me
I'd be willing to die for moi
I'll pray every day to me
And here's what I'd say to me

Cheerleaders

This is the me of me
Me me me

Janet and Cheerleaders

Me me
Me me me
Me me me
Me me me

Janet Majors

Oh, me me
Me me me
Yeah, me me
Look at me
Moi moi

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Sarah Arkwright and Sherry Mendez. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Sarah Arkwright

I've met his type before
There were nights before the war
When a boy with broad shoulders
And muscles like boulders
We needed no excuse
As we ran fast and loose
And because I was older
I was much bolder
Than him
The young soldier
We were lovers
Yes, lovers
At our last dance
You see, the next day, he shipped out for France
And men like that, never come back
Then there were lonely, lonely nights
A broken heart in Brooklyn Heights
But I made a decision
I would live my life with vision
Then came the empty days
Spent in so many ways
Then I heard from his division
He'd gone missing on a mission
Devoid of suspicion
I just waited, yes, waited, while my world turned to black
You see, men like that never come back
And so...
I turned to silent prayer
And moved to Delaware
Then on a rain-swept evening
I met someone to believe in
And through the autumn years
Those most important years
He gave me back my reason
And slowly eased my grieving
Giving better than receiving
It was over, yes over
I'd faced up to the fact
That men like that, never come back

Mr. Midnight

Mai Tai say that I'm Old-Fashioned
Tres Vin Ordinaire
That I want a fresh Manhattan
With white anglo-saxons everywhere?
A Black Russian's
No Pink Lady
Give her the Singapore Sling
And Moscow Mule is not your baby
So Highball the Vodka and name your sting
Be a big shot, with a Bullshot
Be a Schwein mit der Wein
Have a short, or a Port, or a snort, of any sort
Asti Spumante, Uno Chianti

Are divine!

I got some economic Hocks
A Gin and Tonic on the rocks
Where angels fear to tread, I say
Choose your booze! Let's hit the Red-Eye!
Think of young Deanna Durbin
And how she sung on Rum and Bourbon
Or enhance your luncheon hour
With a Planter's Punch and a Whiskey Sour
If you feel like a wreck try a Horse's Neck
Or a Sherry with a cherry in the new fun size

If you don't name your poison
I'll have to get the boys in
The spirit of adventure opens one's eyes
If you don't name your poison
I'll have to get the boys in
And you'll never see another Tequila Sunrise

Live happily ever after
With a Chablis and some laughter
Between The Sheets is lovely
With a dizzy blonde and a popular bubbly
There's nothing sicker in society
Than a lack of liquor and sobriety
So, down the hatch
Here's mud in your eye
Take a bracer with a chaser
Wash it down with Rye!
Bottoms up. Stir a cup.
It'll put you in the pink
And all you have to do is
Drink Drink Drink Drink Driiiink
Drink Drink Drink Drink Driiiink
Drink Drink Drink Drink Driiiink
Drink Drink Drink Drink Driiiink
Driiiink, Driiiink

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Al Wheeler. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Al Wheeler

You got me up an alley on a solid night, and then you blew it
You had to go and do it
You thought I'd be (NOTE) and not get through it
You thought there's nothing to it
You overplayed your hand thinking you were smart
Imagining my mind was a slave to my heart
You played for a sucker, thought you had me on a hook
But oh, oh, oh, I could read you like a book
But I'm a big boy now and nobody's fool
I may be soft in the arms of a woman

Chorus Echo

(Soft in the arms of a woman)

Al Wheeler

But I'm hard as a general rule
You got me in a corner with your passion act, it's undisputed
You thought that I was stupid
The way you swayed against me was quite action-packed, you're so well-suited
That's why you got recruited
But sex just ain't enough to keep me on a string
Beauty don't mean brains, and you need brains to make a sting
You took me for a patsy - an easy kind of mark
But oh, oh, oh, you were shooting in the dark
But I'm a big boy now and nobody's fool
I may be soft in the arms of a woman

Chorus Echo

(Soft in the arms of a woman)

Al Wheeler

But I'm hard as a general rule
I'm a big boy now and nobody's fool
I may be soft in the arms of a woman

Chorus Echo

(Soft in the arms of a woman)

Al Wheeler

But I'm hard as a general rule

NOTE: This is the main line that gave us trouble. Amusing things that various people thought they heard, but we all know don't make sense include: "You thought I'd be the penny to a fallen-fight", "You thought I'd be the preddy to a volume fide", and "You thought I'd be the preddy of a fallen fide".

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Deadpan Dolores and Company. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Deadpan Dolores

Oh, I've been stripped of my emotion
Stripped of my illusion
Equipped for locomotion
Been a party to collusion
Dancing for the fickle crowd's insane
Prancing for a nickel, like a monkey on a chain
They say that joking apart,
"Dying's an art!"
It takes a lifetime to perfect it
You come on with a smile and a song
To find out that it's all going wrong
But with your head in the air
As if you don't have a care
So that no one will suspect it
Just be certain when you want the curtain down
And start planning your big exit
Oh, I've been stripped of my defenses

Echo Voices

(Stripped of her composure)

Deadpan Dolores

I've paid the consequences
And I'm

Echo Voices

(Dying of exposure)

Deadpan Dolores

Weighing up my life won't heal the wounds

Echo Voices

(Wounds)

Deadpan Dolores

I'm paying for the piper
When I couldn't stand his tunes
You know, compared to today
Dying's okay
And we'd do better to respect it
Quality of life means special things
But will the squalid little death swing angel's wings
If there's a Heaven on Earth
I guess I got what I'm worth
And I'm ready to accept it
I'm not certain I want the curtain down
But I'm planning my big exit
(Dramatic Music and Choir)
They say that joking apart,
"Dying's an art!"
It takes a lifetime to perfect it
I'm not certain I want the curtain down
But I'm planning my big exit

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Sarah Arkwright and Company. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Sarah Arkwright

I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!
And I'd do it again!
Oh I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!
To that tragedienne
She wanted to play with the grown-ups
And the deal was too tough to fill
But she opened in a flop
And went right over the top
And the rest of it was all downhill
I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!
And I've got to admit
Oh I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!
To a sick hypocrite
She got everything that she asked for
And I gave her a little bit more
But the greed in her still showed
So I had to hit the road
And she hit it from the fifteenth floor

Chorus of Voices

She swore to tell the whole truth
And nothing but the truth

Sarah Arkwright

So help me God!

Chorus of Voices

Sing like a bird
Tell it word for word

Sarah Arkwright

Where angels fear to tread, I trod!

Various Solo Voices

And though it's privileged information
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing
It may be confidential
But it's not inconsequential

Chorus of Voices

That you'll die to hear Sarah sing!

Sarah Arkwright

I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!
To that cheap little trick
Oh I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!
To that weak little hick
She climbed the stairway to heaven
In her heart, she was over the moon
But she had to face the fact
That she opened in an act

All

That went down like a lead balloon

Sarah Arkwright

I did it!

You used to be my number one
But now your flip side ain't much fun
At 45 you're much too fast
(For me, for me, for me)
So slow it down to 33
You bruised me raw (???)
You broke my heart
You're slipping
You're sliding right up up a chart

See you round like a record
Our romance is kinda checkered
See you round like a record
See you round

Check you out maybe later
Leave your name with the waiter
See you round like a record
See you round

You are my desert island disc
A sure-fire hit without a miss
Your first, it really knocked me out
It sounded just like Twist And Shout
I'm gonna leave
Yeah, leave you cold
I just won't
I just don't
Dig your Rock and Roll

See you round like a record
Our romance is kinda checkered
See you round like a record
See you round

Check you out maybe later
Leave your name with the waiter
See you round like a record
See you round

See you round like a record
Our romance is kinda checkered
See you round like a record
See you round

I'll see you round like a record
(repeated several times)

Cosmo McKinley

I'm not a loco with motive to suture myself
I've been a cynic for too many years
Playing doctor and nurse, it can be good for your health
I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers

Nation McKinley

But if you open your heart to a smooth operator
He'll take you for all that you've got
He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later
It'll shake you the way he takes off like a shot

Cosmo McKinley

You need a bit of

Chorus

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley

Gets you jumping like a real live wire
Need a bit of

Chorus

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley

So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor
For a vista that'll mystify ya

Nurse Ansalong

You're blinded by romance, you're blinded by science
You're condition is critically grave
But don't expect mercy from such an alliance
Suspicion of traditions so new wave

Cosmo McKinley

You need a bit of

Chorus

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley

Gets you jumping like a real live wire
Need a bit of

Chorus

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley

So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor
For a sister that'll certify ya, fy ya, fy ya

Cosmo McKinley

You need a bit of

Chorus

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley

Gets you jumping like a real live wire
You need a bit of

Chorus

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley

So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor
For a sister that'll certify ya, fy ya, fy ya, fy ya!

Stilettos and lipstick
Are the things for me
When I am wearing them
I feel so sexy

Walking down a big street
On my spiked heels
Don't compare to nothing
Driving round on wheels
Oh oh oh

Black and shiny on my feet
Bright red on my lips
A skimpy see-through number
And a mini on my hips
Oh oh oh

Stilettos and lipstick
Are the things for me
When I am wearing them
I feel so sexy

I can go out dancing
Click and clack all night
Nothing's gonna stop me
I ain't no cheap prize fight

In a pool I'm magic
An aquamatic sight
When I'm spiked and glossy
Boy, I am dynamite
Oh oh oh

All the guys they whistle
And some they flash a wink
But if they stop to hustle
I'll have to slink
Oh oh oh

Stilettos and lipstick
Are the things for me
When I am wearing them
I feel so sexy
Oh oh oh

Repeat chorus twice more to fadeout

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien Shock Treatment Shock Treatment Lyrics Soundtrack Thank God I'm A Man
Note that these lyrics go with the longer version of the song that is present on the soundtrack album. In the actual movie, one of Harry's verses is omitted ("A man should cut the lawn..."). Music and lyrics by Richard Hartley and Richard O'Brien.
Harry Weiss

A man should call the toss
Wear the pants, and be the boss
A man should be the drink
For his own damn sake

And men should the misters
And the masters of their sisters
A man should be the reason
For a heart to break

A man should cut the lawn
Change the tire, mend the worn
A man should never wait
To oil a rusting gate

Men should hold the key positions
In our country's great traditions
A man should put the food
Upon the family plate

Marines

So, be moral
Don't quarrel
Fair and square is best

Old Women

Let me alert you
That virtue won't hurt you
Or desert you

Men

If you wear hair on your chest

Studio Audience

So always remember to follow the rules

Marines

Box clever

Men

And jocks never

Harry Weiss

Hock another jock's tools

A man should wax a car
Fix a fuse, and tend the bar
A man should like his brow
To be wet with sweat

Men should know the right occasions
To indulge in tax evasions
A man should know the settings
That his spark plugs get

Faggots are maggots
Thank God I'm a man

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by Deadpan Dolores and Al Wheeler. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Deadpan Dolores

People come from miles to Southern California
Looking for a brand new start
Some come for the fun
And some come for the sun
And some come to mend a broken heart
They arrive on the coast
Pursued by a ghost
To find they've reached a phony dead-end
But when the sun and the money dies
They begin to realize
That even in Southern California, the lonely are legend

Deadpan Dolores
and Al Wheeler

People all wear smiles in Southern California
They say they're going to be a wheel someday
Some feed on the fame
And some they need the game
But most don't have no feel for the play
Your voice in the crowd
Begins to sound loud
And you know deep down it's only pretend
But when the people drift away
You'll discover why they say
That even in Southern California, the lonely are legend
That even in Southern California, the lonely are legend

TAGS: Richard Hartley Richard O'Brien The Stripper
Performed by the Band. Lyrics by Richard O'Brien. Music by Richard Hartley.
Emcee

Ladies and Gentlemen
The Club Extravaganza is proud to present
The girl who says it all from the neck down
Deadpan Dolores
(Strip Music)

Chorus

Fragrant and Flirty! Flagrantly Dirty!
Delectable Deadpan Dolores
(Strip Music)

Chorus

Arousing! Exotic! Suggestive! Erotic!
Delectable Deadpan Dolores
(Strip Music)

Al Wheeler

There's somebody sleeping in my bed
And she's more than a little bare
I think she's more than ready
To be my little teddy
At least that's what her body language says
She's promised with her eyes
This time there will be no lies
There's many a true word said in bed
There's somebody sleeping in my bed
Her golden locks are flowing everywhere
From her hot flesh its no guess
She intends to acquiesce
Her unspoken words could get through to the dead
When she articulates
She joins the literary greats
There's many a true word said in bed
Conversation, confabulation
Repartee with God's creation
"Heigh-Ho" silver-tongue me
With your discourse
As the raconteur said after dinner
Spinning words makes me a winner
For God's sake there's no substitute for
Intercourse
There's somebody sleeping in my bed
She went and skipped the porridge and the chair
Her careful overstating
Gets me ejaculating
Senses I've only ever read
So let's shroud in purple prose
Because everybody knows
There's many a true word said in bed

Al Wheeler

Take some hoods
Who got the goods
On some poor misunderstoods
Take a visit to a dive
With a snub-nosed .45
Whadd'ya got?

Chorus

You've got trouble!

Al Wheeler

Blend a lonely-hearts club game
Add some cops and add a dame
Whadd'ya got?

Chorus

You've got trouble!
You've got trouble!
Take the warm ocean breeze
Add a little low life sleaze

Al Wheeler

Plus, a chick who's a flirt
While the hem of her skirt

Chorus

Rises above her knees

Al Wheeler

So you pour yourself a double
While she says

Various Female Voices

You think I'm pretty?
(Group Male Reply: Yeah!)
Do you think I'm pretty?
(Group Male Reply: Yeah!)
You think I'm pretty?
(Group Male Reply: Yeah!)
Do you think I'm pretty?
(Group Male Reply: Not really!)

Al Wheeler

And you got the perfect recipe

Al Wheeler,
Chorus, and
Everyone Else

For trouble in Pine City!
Trou-ble!