The Musical World of Rocky Horror

Revenge of the Old Queen (Draft Script)        59,463 views

  --=={{****************************************************************}}==--

This is a first draft of the official sequel to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

  I feel a bit awkward distributing this.  With the RHPS screenplay and the
Brad and Janet Show and all of the others, those were things that had already
been presented to the public in some official form or another.  With this, it
seems a bit like telling the punchline to somebody else's joke at a party.
Or, more accurately, peeking in on your blind date in the shower.  In other
words, you ain't supposed to see that yet.

  Unfortunately, though, it seems very unlikely that this will ever be made
into a movie, and I feel that this is unfortunate.  It works well as a proper
followup to Rocky Horror, and is actually quite entertaining to read.  I
balance my feelings of sleaziness with distributing this by telling myself
that fans of Richard O'Brien and Rocky Horror would be missing out if they
never got a chance to experience it.  I /do/ have the utmost respect for Mr.
O'Brien, and I hope he realizes that I'm trying to honor, not cash in on, him.

  Having said that, I would like it that these paragraphs be included whenever
and wherever this script is reproduced.  I will also ask that this never be
sold for profit or otherwise exploited in any way.

  As to the script, when typing it in, I kept fairly faithful to the
capitalization and punctuation.  The spacing of the dialogue and songs are
fairly exact, but I did condense the spacing of the staging directions a tad.
I'm not sure exactly when this was originally written, but the context of the
setting would suggest between 1988 and 1990.  I also can't verify that this
/was/ written by Richard O'Brien.  That is, the hand of God didn't place this
in my lap.  However, if you compare it with the original RHS script and the
screenplay for RHPS, you'll probably agree with me that, if this isn't
authentic, it's a damn good forgery.

Thank you to my anonymous source for providing this; you know who you are.

Jason Alan "P7A77" Pfaff
p7a77@rhps.com
11th January, 1997

  --=={{****************************************************************}}==--

                                       THE
                            ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
                                    PART TWO

                          THE REVENGE OF THE OLD QUEEN

                          A FIRST DRAFT SCREEN PLAY OF
                             - A MUSICAL FOR FILM -

                                      with
                                 BOOK AND LYRICS
                                       by
                                 RICHARD O'BRIEN
                                       and
                                      MUSIC
                                       by
                                 RICHARD HARTLEY

                                   TRANSCRIBED
                               WITHOUT PERMISSION
                                       BUT
                               WITH GREAT RESPECT
                                       BY
                    JASON ALAN "P7A77" PFAFF - p7a77@rhps.com

                                   PRODUCED BY
                           LOU ADLER AND MICHAEL WHITE
                                       FOR
                              TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX

  -----

CAST LIST

THE OLD QUEEN:      A very large ROYAL grandmother who, although dying, is not
                    going quietly into the dark night.  She is not to be
                    crossed and not to be argued with.  She resembles an
                    Elizabeth Taylor look-a-like that's been drowned for a
                    week or three.  Don't step on her winkle-pickers.

STEVE MAJORS:       He's a young(ish) guy who's trying to find the Aliens that
                    were responsible for his elder brother going off the rails
                    some years ago and winding up as a bottomless go-go dancer
                    in Vegas.  Steve is a very serious young man who very
                    rarely sees the funny side of anything, including himself.
                    No offense to Mormons, but he'd fit right into their
                    missionary 'look'.

LORD DE LORDY:      First cousin to the Old Queen and next in line (he hopes)
                    for the Royal Deck Chair.  He's overfed, overweight,
                    overdressed and oversexed.  He flatters himself that he is
                    a cross between Errol Flynn and Victoria Principal, hence
                    the pencil moustache plus thighboots over his fishnets.

GENERAL RIFF RAFF:  A bad tempered, mean spirited opportunist, who is also the
                    unknown (but suspected) killer of his own sister and the
                    Old Queen's only begotten son, the late Frank 'N' Furter.

RAY AMMBO:          Head of a U.S. Agency which investigates UFO and
                    extraterrestrial activity on Earth.  He's really into
                    expensive designer suits, ties, shoes and aftershave in a
                    big way.  He is also the possible father of Sonny.

SONNY AMMBO:        Sonny is an outrageous, smart, good-looking, charming
                    teenager.  He is completely without morals or compassion.
                    Everybody adores him and he sees no reason why he should
                    be any different.

JUDITH BRANKMIRE:   Judy is a beautiful, rather over-endowed young woman who
                    is looking for Mister Right.  Luckily for her and us, she
                    meets him in the shape of Lord De Lordy.  She's fun, she's
                    smart, she's a honey-pot.

JANET WEISS:        She's around 35 or so, but looks at least 50.  She drinks,
                    smokes, dyes her hair, hooks and watches television,
                    probably all at the same time, she's a mess and she's also
                    possibly Sonny's real mother.

MARY LOU:           Ray's bright-eyed, longhaired, glossy-lipped, short-
                    skirted secretary.  Like Ray, she is also from the South.
                    She ain't smart, but she sure is purty.

VARIOUS TRANNIES:   Subjects of the Old Queen.

VARIOUS EARTHLINGS: Hotel staff, guests, diner workers and customers, etc.

  -----

     We OPEN with the TITLES and a SONG which is sung by SONNY.  Our visual
     image is of a journey through space from Earth.  It is very obviously
     artificial and nothing more than a promotion video for the song.

     We see the PLANET EARTH.
     We travel through the MILKY WAY.
     We pass the outer and well known PLANETS.
     We hit DEEP SPACE.
     We approach an unknown PLANET which has no sun, only a moon.
     We skim its surface.  It's quite gothic, natural formations appear to
     resemble tomb-stones.
     We follow a coast-line, the shore is black, the sea also.
     We enter a CAVERN and travel along TWISTING TUNNELS.
     We pass through OPULENT but FUNEREAL SALONS.
     All images hint of sex and death.
     We travel along ANOTHER CORRIDOR and finally stop before a GOTHIC-ARCHED
     DOOR.

     The song ends.

     We then CROSS FADE back to our first image of the PLANET EARTH.  This
     time however it looks REAL, and in a blur of speed we repeat the journey
     we've just made, only this time it all looks very real.  This will be
     underscored with both sounds and music which will, relate to, and round-
     off, SONNY's song.

	SONG:		"THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA"

SONNY (V.O.):

     LET ME TAKE YOU TO A PLACE OF SEDUCTION
     WHERE HEARTS ARE LIGHT BECAUSE IT'S NIGHT ALL DAY
     LET ME HELP YOU BREAK THE CHAINS OF SELF DESTRUCTION
     I'LL START ENLIGHTENING YOU RIGHT AWAY.

     SO IF YOU'RE HOT TO SPOT WHAT'S WHAT
     YOU' BETTER GET A BIT OF WHAT THEY'VE GOT
     WHERE THEY DON'T LIKE A LITTLE BUT A LOT OF EROTOMANIA
     YOU'LL KNOW BLISS AS SOON AS YOU GET YOURS
     AS WE KISS ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA

     IF YOU DELIGHT IN CANDLE LIGHT AND THE INFERNAL
     I KNOW THIS DANGEROUS LITTLE RENDEZVOUS
     AND IF YOU CATCH A BITE WHERE NIGHT IS ETERNAL
     YOU'LL FEEL A STRANGENESS COMING OVER YOU.

     SO IF YOU SAY (YOU WANNA) STAY AWAY
     FROM THAT SAME OLD GREY MAYDAY AFTER DAY
     AND YOUR GAME IS TO PLAY AND PLAY THEN I CAN'T BLAME YAH
     AND SO WE'LL STAND WHERE THE TOMB ENDURES
     HAND IN HAND ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA.

     (ANTHEM)

     CLAYMATION GROUP first time around, TRANSYLVANIANS second time.

     STAY VAIN IN TRANSYLVANIA
     STAY SANE IN TRANSYLVANIA
     REMAIN IN TRANSYLVANIA
     IT'S TIME AND MONEY WELL SPENT
     YOU ONLY LOSE RESENTMENT
     AND SOON CONTENTMENT COULD BE YOURS
     ON THE SANDS OF THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA.

     LET ME SING FOR YOU THE SONG OF THE SIRENS
     IT'S NOT UNKNOWN TO MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY
     WHY DON'T WE SWING IT WITH THE MYRAS AND THE MYRONS
     WHOAH MAN LIKE ONAN YOU'LL BE HOME AND DRY.

     SO IF YOU'RE CHASING AN UNCHASTE DISGRACE
     AN ANGEL FACE THAT'S ENCASED IN LACE
     WELL OUT IN SPACE THERE'S THE PERFECT PLACE TO FAN YOUR MANIA
     COME AND SEE WHAT THE GLOOM ADORES
     HERE WITH ME ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA.

     We stand before the GOTHIC-ARCHED DOOR again, only this time it's real.

     It swings open and we enter the dark room beyond.

1.   INT.  RIFF RAFF'S CHAMBERS.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     This is another of those strange, funeral decors.  Again, natural rock
     suggests imprisoned monsters of Hell and sumptuous drapes suggest an
     evil decadence.  RIFF RAFF is before a coffin and he runs his hands over
     it in a sensual manner.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Oh why, oh why did you make me
                    kill the only thing I ever loved
                    in my entire life, you???  You
                    drove me mad with jealousy, cut me
                    to the quick with your
                    shamelessness, how could you even
                    look at another, when I was all
                    you ever needed?  And such a
                    miserable excuse for a life-form
                    as De Lordy as well.  Oh Magenta,
                    my beloved sister, flesh of my
                    flesh, delight of my life, forgive
                    me you bitch.

     It may be worth pointing out at this juncture, that RIFF is more than a
     little loopy.

     He lies on top of the coffin and begins kissing the head end.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    It'll be different this time my
                    darling, I've changed, I'm not
                    like I used to be, I'm fun, we'll
                    have lots of fun together, you'll
                    see, it'll be just like it was
                    right at the beginning, when we
                    were children, we can play doctors
                    and nurses.  Oh my love, my
                    angel, you know what I want, don't
                    you?  Yes, yes, I do and now, now ...

     He slides off and starts to open the lid.

     The door to the room opens and the light from beyond falls across the
     coffin and catches RIFF looking hunted, guilty and furious.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    And what, the expletive very much
                    included, fuck do you want?

     We PAN AROUND and see a very SMALL PERSON dressed in the manner of this
     strange Planet (which as we all know by now) is the Planet of Transsexual
     in the Galaxy of Transylvania.

                              SMALL PERSON
                    My apologies General Riff Raff,
                    but the Old Queen requires your
                    presence immediately.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    The Old Queen???

                              SMALL PERSON
                    Yes, General, the Big Furter
                    herself.

     RIFF snarls with rage and smashes his fist into the side of the coffin, a
     cloud of red steam escapes with a wistful sigh.  He withdraws his
     bloodied forearm and stares at it in disbelief.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Now see what you made me do!!!
                    I'm sorry, my darling, but I'll
                    hurry right back and make it up to
                    you.

                              SMALL PERSON
                    General, the Old Queen is waiting.

     RIFF screams at this tiny creature with every ounce of hate that he can
     muster.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Yes, yes I know the Old Queen's
                    waiting, you told me and I'm
                    coming, all right?

     He looks straight into camera.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Right now.

     We CUT TO

2.   INT.  THE OUTER OFFICE OF RAY AMMBO.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

     We see STEVE MAJORS coming along the outer corridor and swing into MARY
     LOU's secretarial office.  As we do so, we hear STEVE's thoughts in VOICE
     OVER.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    It all began for me the day that I
                    heard a song on the radio about
                    the moon drenched shores of
                    Transylvania and things started to
                    fall into place.  So I headed on
                    over to my Chief's office in order
                    that I might tell him of my
                    suspicions and about a plan I'd
                    come up with which might put a
                    smile on his face, after all, he
                    was the big banana and with luck I
                    thought that I might be able to
                    pull it off.

     MARY LOU looks up from her desk as STEVE enters.

                              STEVE
                    Is the Chief in?

                              MARY LOU
                    He is, but he's real busy right
                    now.

                              STEVE
                    This is too important to wait.

     He waves what looks like a rolled up film poster at her, it is exactly
     that.  Then, he heads towards RAY's inner sanctum.

                              MARY LOU
                    Hey!  You can't go in there.

     It's too late.  He's already in there.  MARY LOU chases after him.

     Now RAY's office is a real sight.  It is full of erotica in all forms,
     paintings, bronzes, books, etc., and on the huge T.V. screen there is a
     fairly explicit strip act playing and what's even worse (yes, it gets
     worse) the STRIPPER appears to have an extra something that doesn't
     belong to the female form.

     RAY is bent over his desk doing something with a rolled up dollar bill
     and some white powder.  As the door opens he stands up real quick, the
     dollar still stuck in his nostril.  The mound of powder, which is huge,
     goes everywhere.

     RAY is dressed that very baggy, expensive Italian designer look.  He's in
     his forties and is given to wearing his hair in a pony tail.

                              RAY
                    Who in the Hell are you?

                              STEVE
                    Agent Steve Majors, Chief, I have
                    to talk to you.

                              RAY
                    Not now, Agent Majors, I've got a
                    terrible headache, the only thing
                    that cures it is this ... ah ...
                    C17H21O4N ... It's pretty hard
                    to get and costs a fortune.

     He aims the remote switch at the T.V. screen and our transsexual STRIPPER
     disappears.

                              RAY
                    I don't know what's gone wrong
                    with afternoon television these
                    days, can't get the script writers
                    I expect.

                              STEVE
                    I want to talk to you about that
                    song that's being played
                    everywhere, Chief, The Moon
                    Drenched Shores of Transylvania.

     RAY's mood changes immediately, he smiles broadly and glows with what can
     only be pride.

                              RAY
                    Why didn't you say so, Agent
                    Majors?  Hell, let me call you
                    Steve, you did say Steve, didn't
                    you? ... Mary Lou, why don't you
                    go pour us a drink each and while
                    you're at it, see if you can
                    rustle me up some more of my
                    headache powder ... it's a great
                    song that song, Steve ...
                         (he sings)
                    LET ME TAKE YOU TO A PLACE OF
                    SEDUCTION.
                    Hell I knew it was going to be a
                    hit the first time I heard it.  I
                    said, "Sonny, that one's gonna
                    make it all the way to the number
                    one slot", and boy, was I right.

                              STEVE
                    You mean you know the singer
                    personally, Chief?

                              RAY
                    Know him??? I should say I do.
                    Why I've known him all his life.
                    He's my boy.

     We go to a CLOSE UP on STEVE, he's astonished by this news.

     We hear the double beat of a bass drum, like a heartbeat and CUT TO

3.   EXT.  A STREET IN DOWN TOWN WASHINGTON.  DAY.

     We see SONNY for the first time.  He looks a treat.  He has high-heel
     shoes and fishnet stockings on.  On top he wears a leather jacket.  His
     face is heavily and beautifully made up.  He trucks down the street
     without a care in the world.  He is without shame or embarrassment.

     We CUT BACK TO

4.   INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

                              RAY
                    Yes sir, I sure am proud of that
                    boy of mine, he's never given me
                    one day's trouble in his life.

     STEVE swallows hard, he's on fairly thin ice here and he'll have to watch
     his step.

                              STEVE
                    Yes, I'm sure he's a wonderful
                    son, Chief ... I'm just a little
                    surprised that he's singing a song
                    like that.

                              RAY
                    Why???  What's wrong with it???
                    Are you some kind of music critic
                    or something???  I hope I didn't
                    get you wrong, boy.

                              STEVE
                    Ah no ... It's just that, well, as
                    Chief of this Agency and as ah ...
                    this agency ... is set up to
                    investigate Aliens and U.F.O.
                    activity ... well I thought you
                    should know that what Sonny, your
                    boy, is singing about, is true.

     RAY studies STEVE for a while.  STEVE sweats a bit.  Then RAY talks and
     this time it is both quiet and cold.

                              RAY
                    I think you'd better explain
                    yourself, Agent Majors, and I also
                    think that it better be good.

                              STEVE
                         (unrolls the film poster)
                    Have you heard of this film,
                    Chief?  It's called.

                              RAY
                    The Rocky Horror Show .. I've
                    course I've heard of it.  My
                    boy, Sonny, loves it, he used to
                    go all the time.

                              STEVE
                    So did a lot of other kids, Chief.
                    They still do, but what they don't
                    know is that it's a true story ...
                    There are aliens amongst us, they
                    call themselves Trannies and all
                    they want is for us to become
                    slaves to sensation.

     We hear that bass drum give that loud heartbeat again.  And we CUT TO

5.   EXT.  THE STREET IN DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON.  DAY.

     SONNY starts to sing a song that will go something or other like this.

SONNY:

     LIFE IS SWEET ON THE STREET
     WHEN YOU'RE TURNING ON THE HEAT
     AND BURNING FOR SOME INDISCREET DEMENTIA
     AN EPISODE IN THE ROAD
     CAN CAUSE YOU TO EXPLODE
     AND THEN SAY 'WELL I'M BLOWED!  HAS HEAVEN SENT YAH?'
     IT MAYBE HARD WHEN YOU'VE STARRED
     TO A HATEFUL BOULEVARD
     TO DISREGARD THE DETRIMENTAL CENSURE
     JUST SKIP AND POST
     HAVE A LAUGH
     FLIP THOSE FOES YOUR AUTOGRAPH
     AS YOU TRIP THE PRIMROSE PATH
     TO FRESH ADVENTURE.

     IF YOU TIC TACK DOWN THE TRACK
     AND RUN SMACK INTO A PACK
     OF GUYS WITH SOME WISE-CRACK AND NO ABSTENTIONS
     TO REMAIN UP IN THAT LANE
     CAN BE REALLY QUITE A STRAIN
     BUT THEY'LL BE RIGHT AS RAIN WITH YOUR ATTENTIONS
     A HAIRY MALE ON THE TRAIL
     IS A KIND OF FAIRY TALE
     REMINDING YOU'RE FRAIL WITH HIS DIMENSIONS
     SO HISS AND SPIT
     KISS AND TELL
     AND REMEMBER THIS BIT WELL
     THAT THEY PAVED THE ROAD TO HELL
     WITH GOOD INTENTIONS.

     LET ME SAY, SHOULD YOU STRAY
     DOWN THAT FETED GREAT WHITE WAY
     STILL PRAYING FOR THE DAY YOU PLAY THE PALAIS
     FLOUT YOUR PRIDE AND STAY OUTSIDE
     DON'T GET TAKEN FOR A RIDE
     FORGET IT NOT THAT YOU'RE A HOT TAMALE
     HOCK YOUR JOCK, SHOCK IN A FROCK
     GET THEM ROCKING ROUND THE BLOCK
     A FRILLY REALLY MAKES THEM DILLY DALLY
     YES I REPEAT
     IT'S A TREAT
     WHEN YOU'VE RISEN FROM DEFEAT
     (TO) FIND THE RHYTHM OF THE STREET'S
     RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY.

          (SONG TO BE FINISHED LATER)

     By the time he's finished it, he's probably made love to a few
     bystanders, beaten up the odd red-neck and wound up in the window of a
     lingerie shop with a couple of cops and several teenaged girls.

     We CUT TO

6.   INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

                              RAY
                    I've been Chief of this agency for
                    more years than I care to
                    remember, Agent Majors and I've
                    never seen a U.F.O. or an Alien
                    that didn't turn out to be
                    something quite normal and
                    understandable.  And, another
                    thing, do you really think for one
                    minute that monsters from outer
                    space could ever corrupt the
                    people of this great nation?  Do
                    you think that the young people
                    would be weak enough, foolish
                    enough, to be taken in by a
                    proselytizing extraterrestrial
                    with a mouth full of sweet talk
                    and a dick that swings both
                    ways? ...

     MARY LOU enters with three drinks and a huge brown paper grocery sack
     full of white powder.  She puts everything down except for her drink,
     sits down and crosses her legs.

     STEVE attempts to say a few words to RAY.

                              STEVE
                    But ... I ...

                              RAY
                    Take my boy for example, he's a
                    lovely boy

                              MARY LOU
                    He surely is and that's the truth.

                              RAY
                    He's a rock star, making his way
                    in an industry that's rife with
                    temptation, but does he lack moral
                    principles?  No he does not and
                    why?  Because he knows right from
                    wrong that's why.  Sure, he
                    dresses a little crazy, but he's
                    young and in show business, and so
                    what if he sings strange songs
                    about other planets.  Sci Fi and
                    Gothic horror are in, but, don't
                    try and tell me that this Planet,
                    this Transylvania really exists or
                    I'm going to have to start calling
                    for the men in white coats.

     We CUT TO

7.   INT.  A DIMLY LIT CORRIDOR.  PLANET OF T.S.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     The SMALL PERSON and RIFF snake along the corridor.  We hear the sighs,
     moans and groans of unseen Transylvanians drowning in pleasure.  RIFF
     covers his ears.  We lose the sounds with his action and we hear now the
     thump of his heartbeat, followed by a dramatic drum fill.  RIFF is
     nervous and unhappy.

     We CUT TO

8.   INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

                              RAY
                    I'm well aware that there are a
                    lot of people unable to dig
                    themselves out of the shit that
                    they've buried themselves into,
                    but let's face it, there's riff
                    raff everywhere these days.

9.  INT.  FURTHER ALONG THE CORRIDOR.  PLANET OF T.S.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     The 'HEARTBEAT' has under scored the last scene and now it becomes a full
     rhythm section.  RIFF sings.

	SONG:		"SHORT END OF THE STICK"

RIFF RAFF:

     THERE'S SOMETHING GOING DOWN
     OVER SOMETHING THAT'S COME UP
     SO I'D BETTER GO INTO REMOTE
     BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS AT MY THROAT
     TRYING TO MAKE THEIR STORY STICK
     I WAS BORN TO JOIN THE GENTRY
     BORN TO HAVE THE HORN OF PLENTY
     BUT THE THING THAT MAKES ME SICK
     IS I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT-END OF THE STICK

     SOMEONE'S HOLDING COURT
     OR SOMETHING OF THAT SORT
     AND THE QUESTIONS WILL BE COMING FAST AND THICK
     SO I'D BETTER TAKE THE STAND
     WITH SOME ACES IN MY HAND
     (OR THERE'LL BE) TROUBLE THAT'S AS SUBTLE AS A BRICK
     I WAS BORN TO RULE, NOT FOLLOW
     THERE ARE THINGS THAT I CAN'T SWALLOW
     BUT THE THING THAT MAKES ME SICK
     IS, I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

     DRUNK WITH POWER, THEY SKIP WITH JOY
     HOUR BY HOUR I'M THEIR WHIPPING BOY
     THEY'RE SO SADISTIC THEY'LL STEAL YOUR LIPSTICK
     AND TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE MASOCHISTIC
     I GET NO THRILLS ON BITTER PILLS THEY MAKE ME SICK
     AND I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

TRANNIES/SMALL PERSON/GUARDS:

     HE WAS BORN TO JOIN THE GENTRY

RIFF RAFF:

     BORN TO HAVE THE HORN OF PLENTY

OTHERS:

     HE WAS BORN TO RULE NOT FOLLOW

RIFF RAFF:

     THERE ARE THINGS I JUST CAN'T SWALLOW

OTHERS:

     BUT THE THING THAT REALLY MAKES HIM SICK

RIFF RAFF:

     IS, I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

     SOMEONE HAS TO LOSE
     SO THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN WIN
     IT'S A CHRONIC TRAGICOMIC KIND OF TRICK
     IF I HAD A BIT OF SENSE
     I'D JUST SIT HERE ON THE FENCE
     AND PRETEND TO BE AN EMPTY HEADED HICK
     (BUT) I WAS BORN TO BE THE VICTIM
     BORN A PAWN WITHOUT THE SYSTEM
     THAT'S THE THING THAT MAKES ME SICK
     YES, I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

     We CUT TO

10.  INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

     Same three people as before.  We OPEN with a CLOSE UP on STEVE.

                              STEVE
                    But Chief!  You've got to believe
                    me ...

     RAY and MARY LOU snigger a little.

                              STEVE
                    ... They've got a safe-house in a
                    place called Fresno, over an
                    electrical store, this time we're
                    really on to them.

                              RAY
                    Oh really?  How d'you come by
                    this information, Agent Majors?

                              STEVE
                    I was going through the files and
                    I found a folder marked The Denton
                    Affair, it made for really
                    interesting reading, chief, and
                    pencilled in the cover it said,
                    Transylvanian Safe House, then it
                    gave the address, and I've checked
                    and it's still there.

                              RAY
                    The Denton Affair was a long time
                    ago ... ah ... Steve, sure, the
                    address in Fresno might check out,
                    but Hell, anybody could be living
                    there now.

                              STEVE
                    Let me check it out, Chief.

                              RAY
                    What d'you think, Mary Lou?
                    Should we let Steve here check
                    Fresno out for monsters from outer
                    space?

                              MARY LOU
                    I don't know, Ray, it could be
                    kind of dangerous.

     RAY becomes mock serious for a moment.

                              RAY
                    All right, Agent Majors, it's just
                    possible that this could be the
                    big break that we've been waiting
                    for.  I'm going to put a priority
                    code on this one ...

     He picks up the phone.

                              RAY
                    ... It's Ray Ammbo here, Head of
                    the Bureau of Investigation into
                    U.F.O's and all other related
                    subjects.  I want to be put
                    straight through to Camp David,
                    and I mean now.

     STEVE's jaw drops and he gives a low whistle of approval ... This is
     serious stuff going down here.

                              RAY
                    Hello David, send me an Agency car
                    round to the front of the
                    building, and make it the best.

     He hangs up.

     We CUT TO

11.  INT.  THE ANTE CHAMBER.  OLD QUEEN'S PALACE.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     RIFF and the SMALL PERSON enter.  A VERY TALL THIN SERVANT, also dressed
     in Transylvanian black, comes from the doorway that leads out to the moon
     drenched shore.

                              SMALL PERSON
                    General Riff Raff to see the Old
                    Queen.

     The TALL THIN SERVANT gives RIFF a haughty and disdainful look and sniffs
     in a snooty manner.  RIFF returns his rudeness with an arrogant sneer.

     The TALL THIN one exits into the Alien night that lies beyond the door.

     We CUT TO

12.  EXT.  THE STREET.  OUTSIDE H.Q.  WASHINGTON.  DAY.

     RAY and MARY LOU are seeing STEVE off in the Company car which is heavily
     marked with tell tale Agency logos and give away identification.

                              STEVE
                    Shouldn't I fly?

                              RAY
                    What, and let them know that
                    you're coming.  How
                    unprofessional can you get, Steve.

                              STEVE
                    Sorry, Chief.

                              RAY
                    I'm going to get one of our top
                    operators out on the coast to meet
                    you there and give you all the
                    help you need on this assignment,
                    Steve.

                              STEVE
                    I like to work on my own, Chief.

                              RAY
                    You'll follow orders, Agent
                    Majors.  Am I understood?

                              STEVE
                    Yes, Chief.

                              RAY
                    Okay, Steve, good boy, and Steve,
                    be careful, you hear?  Don't
                    trust anybody.

     RAY and MARY LOU smile at STEVE in a phoney manner.  They wave goodbye
     and STEVE drives off.

     As the car moves out into the traffic and is some way away from them,
     SONNY walks into frame.

                              SONNY
                    Hi Pop, Hi Mary Lou.

                              BOTH
                    Sonny ...

                              SONNY
                    Who's the square in the car?

                              RAY
                    One of my finest agents, a real
                    asshole.  Let's go back to the
                    office and party.

     SONNY puts his arm around MARY LOU's waist.

                              SONNY
                    Sounds good to me.

                              MARY LOU
                    Me too.

     We CUT TO

13.  INT.  THE ANTE CHAMBER.  THE PALACE OF THE OLD QUEEN.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     RIFF and the SMALL PERSON wait in a funereal silence.  RIFF is fuming
     with impatience.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    How much longer is she going to
                    keep me waiting?  That's what I'd
                    like to know.

     The SMALL PERSON says nothing but gives him a look which says that RIFF
     would be best served by watching his tongue.  The truth of the matter is
     that the thought of RIFF getting drawn and quartered is not without its
     attractions to him either.

     We CUT TO

14.  MONTAGE

     A MONTAGE of SHOTS of STEVE's car hurtling through DAYS and NIGHTS,
     RAIN and SUNSHINE, PUNCTURES and TRAFFIC COPS, etc.

     This of course gives us the passing of time.

     We CUT BACK TO

13.  INT.  THE ANTE CHAMBER.  THE PALACE OF THE OLD QUEEN.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     It's the same as before, nothing has changed.  The SMALL PERSON yawns.

     We CUT TO

15.  INT.  STEVE'S CAR.  (TRAVELLING SHOT).  DAY.

     STEVE's driving and trying to look cool.  We see that he's even wearing
     those little leather driving gloves with the backs cut out of them, plus
     of course, those oh-so-important sun-glasses.  Let's face it, he's a hunk
     and a half.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    The car was the tops and it had
                    all the high tech engineering that
                    those little yellow guys are
                    famous for.  Hell, I'm as
                    American as the next guy but let's
                    face it.  I want a car that's
                    compact, stylish and gives me big
                    miles per gallon, plus all the
                    optional extras, without putting a
                    dent in my pocket.

     The car phone goes - STEVE picks it up.

                              STEVE
                    Hi, this is Agent Steve Majors on
                    special assignment, I'm not here
                    right now, but if you'd care to
                    leave your name and number after
                    the tone - I'll get right back to
                    you -
                         (he whistles the tone)

     He listens.  It's his contact, one JUDITH BRANKMIRE.

                              JUDY (V.O.)
                    Hello, ah ... this is Agent
                    Brankmire, I'm your contact in
                    Fresno, listen Steve, it's Judith,
                    Judy, Judy Brankmire?  We went to
                    school together back in Denton,
                    way back when.  I guess you won't
                    remember me, I'm 5 to 6 feet tall
                    with sandy, brown/blonde hair,
                    about 110 pounds, well, I was
                    then.  I've picked up a few since
                    then maybe, but it's not easy with
                    this job, you tend to eat a lot of
                    junk food ...

     Her voice FADES DOWN and STEVE's thoughts FADE UP.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    Judy Brankmire?  Judy Brankmire??
                    Maybe I did remember her, sexy
                    little brunette, with a cute
                    little pushed-up button nose,
                    tight buns and a pair of tits you
                    could die for, then again, maybe I
                    didn't.
                    I was about to let her know that
                    the answer phone scam was an old
                    security trick of mine, when I
                    realised that maybe she wasn't who
                    she claimed to be, so I just let
                    her keep on talking, something she
                    was pretty good at.

                              JUDY (V.O.)
                    ... anyway, Steve, the thing is,
                    I've managed to get a short lease
                    on the apartment you've been sent
                    to check out ...

     We CUT TO

16.  INT.  EARTH.  THE "SAFE HOUSE" APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  DAY.

     JUDY sits on the sofa with the phone in her hand.

                              JUDY
                    ... It's been unoccupied for so
                    long that I managed to talk the
                    servicing company into letting me
                    take it for the month.  No one's
                    been near the place for years,
                    it's like a time warp here.  I'll
                    wait for you here and see you
                    later tonight some time, maybe we
                    can catch up on old times,
                    Steve ...

     We CUT TO

17.  EXT.  EARTH.  CAR.  DAY.

                              JUDY (V.O.)
                    ... I'd like that.

     The call ends.

     STEVE hangs up as well.

                              STEVE
                    Yeah, me too, Judy Brankmire, me
                    too.

     We leave STEVE exuding pheromones and ...

     CUT TO

18.  EXT.  THE OLD QUEEN'S BEACH.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     RIFF walks across the dark sand towards a black gothic deck chair.  We
     see protruding from one side of it, a rather hefty leg encased in ripped
     silk stockings.  The skin seen through these rips, is a deathly white.
     The TALL THIN SERVANT announced RIFF as he comes alongside.

                              SERVANT
                    The General Riff Raff, your lace
                    curtain, your most excellent
                    Furter.

     At last we see her and she's an incredible sight to behold.  Skin as
     white as snow.  Hair black as pitch.  Dressed in a black negligee,
     beneath which her vast body is dressed in a regal girdle.  On her head
     she wears a tiara type crown made up of lightning streaks.  Her small,
     round, white frosted glasses gaze up at RIFF.  She removes them to reveal
     extremely heavily make-up eyes.

     RIFF avoids her gaze and studies the moon, the sand, the ink-black
     glutinous sea that gloops like an ocean of oil at the edge of the iron
     sand, in fact anything.

                              RIFF
                    You wished to see me?  Old Queen,
                    Silk Stocking, Lace Curtain, Big
                    Furter.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    I would never wish to actually see
                    you, Riff Raff - The sight of you
                    is like a finger down the throat.
                    But I have a request - An order -
                    A royal order.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    I would be proud and honoured to
                    serve you, my fleshy Queen.  What
                    is it you wish of me?

                              OLD QUEEN
                         (she screams)
                    I want you to return to Earth and
                    find my little darling boy and
                    bring him back to me before I take
                    that great leap.

                              COURTIERS
                    Oh no, Big Furter, you will never
                    die ... etc.

     RIFF looks decidedly furtive as indeed he might seeing as how he has
     blasted the late FRANK 'N' FURTER with a laser until all life had fled
     from that naughty boy's mortal frame.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Hit the trail, Riff Raff, and make
                    sure you bring back my little
                    Frankie to me before I croak.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Frankie?  Frank 'N' Furter?  You
                    want me to find Frank 'N' Furter
                    and bring him back to you?

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Yes, yes, yes ... I want my
                    treasure, my heart's delight, my
                    only born back in these arms,
                    locked on to these breasts once
                    more before I go to my great
                    reward.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    But the fruit of your capacious
                    loins has not been heard of for
                    fifteen years or so ... He may be
                    ... ah ... busy ... he may not
                    want to come back.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    My cousin, Lord De Lordy will see
                    that you make it to the
                    transducer.  De Lordy.

     DE LORDY steps forward with a mocking grin which is meant for RIFF, he
     gives a slight bow.

                              DE LORDY
                    General.

                              RIFF RAFF
                         (bows back grudgingly)
                    My Lord.

     There is hate in RIFF's eyes.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Stick with him, cousin and see
                    that he doesn't go anywhere other
                    than Earthsville.

                              DE LORDY
                    My life is to serve you, Big
                    Furter, Your silk knickers.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Yeah, yeah.  Just do it, and,
                    Riff, you can give him this
                    message from me.

   She sings.

	SONG:		"I'M A MOTHER, (A REAL MOTHER)"

OLD QUEEN:

     WAS EVER A MOTHER BLESSED WITH SUCH A BOY
     WAS EVER ANOTHER'S BREAST PRESSED TO SUCH JOY
     MY ONE AND ONLY SON WAS MORE LIBIDINOUS
     THAN ANY HONEYBUN INCLUDING OEDIPUS

     YES I'M A MOTHER, A REAL MOTHER
     I'M THE MOTHER OF ALL MOTHERS
     AND THERE'LL NEVER BE ANOTHER MOTHER FIGURE
     AS BIG OR BIGGER
     AS A MOTHER I SAID LOOK SON
     THERE'S ONE THING THAT WE SHOULD COVER
     YOU'LL DISCOVER
     YOU'LL NEVER GET ANOTHER LOVER LIKE YOUR MOTHER

     NEVER TO BEHOLD AGAIN HIS HANDSOME FACE
     NEVER TO ENFOLD AGAIN HIS PANTY WAIST
     THERE'LL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME THAT'S LOST A CHILD
     WITH FAR MORE REPARTEE THAN EVEN OSCAR WILDE

     I KNOW I'M HELPLESS, I KNOW I'M SELFLESS
     (BUT) I'M STILL STRIPPING I'M STILL SILKEN
     I'M STILL DRIPPING
     MOTHER'S MILK
     AND ALL FOR BABY, MY BABY BABY
     COME TO MOMMA TAKE A LOOK SON JUST ONE LAST LOOK
     WATCH ME SUFFER
     YOU'LL DISCOVER
     YOU'LL NEVER GET ANOTHER LOVER LIKE YOUR MOTHER

     SO RUN FOR THE COVER OF YOUR MOTHER AND START TO PUCKER
     I'M UP AGAINST THE WALL YOU MOTHER SUCKER

     EVERY MOTHER HOPES HER CHILD VOTES
     FOR THE RIGHT TO SOW THEIR WILD OATES
     AND WHEN THEY'VE DONE THEIR YUMMY YUMMY
     THEY'LL COME RUNNING HOME TO MUMMY
     THEY'LL COME RUNNING HOME TO MUMMY

     YES I'M A MOTHER, A REAL MOTHER
     I'M THE MOTHER OF ALL MOTHERS
     AND THERE'LL NEVER BEE ANOTHER MOTHER FIGURE
     AS BIG OR BIGGER
     AS A MOTHER I SAID LOOK SON
     THERE'S ONE THING WE SHOULD COVER
     YOU'LL DISCOVER
     YOU'LL NEVER GET ANOTHER LOVER LIKE YOUR MOTHER

     (I TOLD HIM) WHEN YOU'VE HAD ONE BIMBO WITH HER LEGS AKIMBO
     YOU'VE HAD THEM ALL
     AND THERE'S NO DISHONOUR IN BOUNCING ON HER
     AS LONG AS AFTER YOU'VE BEEN CHUMMY
     YOU COME RUNNING HOME TO MUMMY

     YES, I'M A MOTHER A REAL MOTHER
     I'M THE MOTHER OF ... ETC.

     The song ends - and RIFF and DE LORDY depart.  RIFF walks with the step
     of a condemned man.

     We CUT TO

19.  INT.  EARTH.  THE APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  EVENING.

     JUDY is on the phone.

                              JUDY
                    I've got it, Chief, you want me to
                    get as much as I can out of him.
                    Don't worry, I'll pump him dry.

     She hangs up.

     She makes her way through the apartment.  Takes a bottle of champagne
     from a grocery bag and pops it in the ice-box.  Then she heads on through
     to the bathroom.  She reaches in and turns on the shower then she moves
     OUT OF SHOT to get undressed.  We PULL IN TOWARDS the shower and see that
     as well as having taps it has a few other strange knobs and levers.  In
     the centre of one of them, we see the lightning streak.

     We CUT TO

20.  INT.  THE TRANSDUCER.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     This is a teleportation device.  RIFF stands inside it, DE LORDY outside.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Damn you, De Lordy!  You're
                    enjoying this, aren't you?

                              DE LORDY
                    But of course.  Oh, and don't be
                    in too much of a hurry to find
                    "you know who" will you?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    That would suit you, wouldn't it?
                    Then you'd be next in line for the
                    Old Queen's deck chair.

                              DE LORDY
                         (yawns)
                    There are some who say that I'm
                    already next in line, as Frank 'N'
                    Furter is already dead, killed, so
                    the rumour goes, by somebody not a
                    million miles away from where I'm
                    standing right now.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    You can't prove that De Lordy.

                              DE LORDY
                    I wish I could, but you're stuck now,
                    it's either produce her pretty boy,
                    or else.  My thinking is that it's
                    most likely going to be the "else".
                    By the way, your sister Magenta was
                    fabulous -
                         (he presses the
                          transducer button)
                    Going down.

     RIFF becomes even more furious as he begins to dematerialise.

     We CUT TO

21.  INT.  EARTH.  THE SHOWER.  FRESNO.  EVENING.

     JUDY's having a soap up.

                              JUDY
                    Wow!!!  What weird looking
                    switches.  Hey!  Maybe they're
                    for needle-jet-massage, boy I love
                    those things.

     She presses or flicks a couple of them, the door bolts itself and the
     compartment begins to glow and hum.

                              JUDY
                    Holy shit!  I'm going to
                    electrocute myself - God damn it!
                    The door's jammed - Hey, what the
                    hell is happening here??

     She dematerialises - a second later, RIFF appears, he's not happy to find
     the water running.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Damn you, De Lordy.  Damn you
                    all.

     We CUT TO

22.  INT.  TRANSDUCER.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     JUDY appears wet and naked, she turns around slowly and sees DE LORDY.

                              DE LORDY
                    How delicious, how mouth watering.
                    How do you do?

     JUDY, to use a time-honoured phrase, is gob smacked.

                              JUDY
                    Lordy Lordy!!

                              DE LORDY
                    At your service, my dear.


     DE LORDY sings - This is a great moment in the history of romantic
     fiction.  These two are smitten from the very first time they lay eyes on
     one another.

	SONG:		"LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT"

DE LORDY:

     LOOK WHAT'S POPPED UP
     I THINK I'M IN LOVE
     SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S OUT OF THIS WORLD
     I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH LOVELINESS
     ALL IN ONE WONDERFUL GIRL
     AS I STAND HERE BEFORE HER
     CAN SHE TELL I ADORE HER
     AM I MAKING TOO MUCH OF THIS THING
     I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH FLUFFINESS
     SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S FIT FOR A KING

JUDY:

     I WANT TO HOLD HIM TIGHTLY

DE LORDY:

     I WANT TO LOVE HER SO

JUDY:

     I WANT TO HOLD HIM NIGHTLY

DE LORDY:

     I'LL NEVER LET HER GO

BOTH:

     IT'S THAT SQUAREST OF SQUARE THINGS
     AT THE BEST TRITE
     THAT FAIREST OF FAIR THINGS
     A SUNBURST SO BRIGHT
     THAT RAREST OF RARE THINGS
     LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

JUDY:

     I'M HOT AND I'M STRESSED
     AND I'M NOT OVERDRESSED
     BUT THE THING THAT MAKES ME SWEET ON YOU
     IS THAT

BOTH:

     WE CAN HAVE OUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO

     OUR MINDS AND OUR GLANDS
     TELL US THESE ARE THE HANDS
     WITH THE TOUCH TO EXCITE AND DELIGHT
     WE'LL NEVER NEED ANY OTHER'S KISS
     NOW WE'VE FOUND LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

JUDY:

     I WANT TO HOLD HIM TIGHTLY

DE LORDY:

     I WANT TO LOVE HER SO

JUDY:

     I WANT TO HOLD HIM NIGHTLY

DE LORDY:

     I'LL NEVER LET HER GO

BOTH:

     IT'S THAT SQUAREST OF SQUARE THINGS
     AT THE BEST TRITE
     THAT FAIREST OF FAIR THINGS
     A SUNBURST SO BRIGHT
     THAT RAREST OF RARE THINGS
     LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

     At the conclusion of this intense declaration of true love,

     We CUT TO

23.  INT.  EARTH.  THE APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

     There's an electrical storm outside and it's raining heavily.  RIFF has
     dried himself off and wrapped himself in a voluminous, towelling dressing
     gown (JUDY's perhaps?)  He's picking through JUDY's wallet and handbag,
     not to mention her suitcase.  We see a CLOSE UP of her I.D. in the
     wallet.  RIFF has also found the champagne.  The phone goes - he looks at
     it for a second then picks it up.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    Judy?  This is Agent Steve Majors,
                    if you want to bust this case wide
                    open, then you'd better stick with
                    the top man, and yes, I do remember
                    you now, a skinny little thing with
                    blonde hair and a pair of legs that
                    went right up to heaven, am I close?

                              RIFF RAFF
                         (falsetto)
                    Ah ... mmm-hummh ...

     We CUT TO

24.  EXT.  EARTH.  CAR.  NIGHT.

                              STEVE
                    Listen, Judy, I'm going to be with
                    you in about ten or fifteen
                    minutes, so get some champagne on
                    ice and all your information
                    together and then you can show me
                    yours and I can show you mine.
                    Sound good to you?

                              RIFF RAFF (V.O.)
                    Ah mmmm - hummh.

                              STEVE
                    Me too - See you soon, Judith
                    Brankmire.

     He hangs up - The windscreen wipers cut the rain, lightning flashes and

     We CUT TO

25.  EXT.  EARTH.  HIGHWAY.  NIGHT.

     We see the rear of STEVE's car heading away from us into the night -
     There is yet another lightening flash which reveals a sign post which
     reads "FRESNO 8 MILES".  Around the sign there are the badges of the
     various clubs and organisations of the town such as "THE ELKS" "LIONS"
     "J.C.'s" "MASONIC LODGE" and, also a black badge bearing a lightening
     streak.

     We CUT TO

26.  INT.  EARTH.  THE APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

     RIFF is in a slight panic.  He crosses to a bookcase and pulls a secret
     switch.  It slides open to reveal a wardrobe labelled "EARTHWARE".  One
     side is male, the other female.  On the top shelf there are wigs, the
     next down spectacles, then suits or dresses and shoes at the bottom.
     RIFF turns to the female side and runs a hand along the top shelf.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Strawberry or platinum?

     We CUT TO

27.  EXT.  EARTH.  THE STREET OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

     The neon lights from the Electrical store send streaks of colour across
     the wet sidewalk.  STEVE's car pulls in front and he gets out and runs to
     a door alongside the store window, he pushes it open and goes in.

     During this action we hear his thoughts again.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    I guess I should have known that
                    something was wrong, after all, I
                    had a little warning bell ringing
                    in the back of my head, but I put
                    it down to fatigue and told myself
                    not to be silly.

     We hear a bell ring and

     We CUT TO

28.  INT.  EARTH.  THE LANDING, OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT DOOR.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

     STEVE has his finger on the bell push - he removes it and the ringing
     stops.

                              STEVE
                    Judy??  Judy?  I remember now ...

     We CUT TO

29.  INT.  EARTH.  THE APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

     RIFF is in full drag and looks pretty good, he fluffs up his blonde hair
     and as he does so we hear STEVE on the other side of the door.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    You're a red-head, not a blonde.

     RIFF sighs and pulls off the wig.

     We CUT TO

30.  INT.  EARTH.  THE LANDING.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

                              STEVE
                    Yes - a cute little red-head -
                    with freckles and the kind of a
                    figure guys write songs about.
                    Judy??  Hey, Judy!!  Come on,
                    I'm a little wet you know, Judy?
                    Are you in there?

     We CUT TO

31.  INT.  EARTH.  THE APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

     RIFF hurries to the door, complete with red hair and freckles.  He passes
     a full length wall mirror and does a double take, no tits.  So he crosses
     to the grocery bag that JUDY took the champagne from and hauls out a
     couple of grapefruit, they're pretty big.

     We CUT TO

32.  INT.  EARTH.  THE LANDING.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

     RIFF opens the door and sprays STEVE with a drugged perfume.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Hi!  Why don't you come on in?

     The picture goes into SOFT FOCUS and gives us a golden, dream-like
     quality.  RIFF looks gorgeous and his voice goes into echo.  STEVE tries
     to look nonchalant and debonair but in reality he just looks goofy.  We
     TRACK inside with them and have a MONTAGE sequence which cuts between the
     various activities that STEVE talks about (pouring drinks, etc) and also
     cut from the dreamlike state where STEVE is sophisticated and urbane and
     RIFF is glamorous and provocative, to harsh reality, where STEVE is a
     dribbling fool and RIFF is contemptuous and mean.

                              STEVE (V.O)
                    It was all like some wonderful
                    dream.  I hated myself for
                    forgetting her.  She poured some
                    champagne and I found myself
                    opening up to her in a way that
                    I'd never done with a girl before.
                    I told her everything I knew about
                    the aliens from the planet of
                    Transsexual in the galaxy of
                    Transylvania, and how the Rocky
                    Horror Show was a real story and
                    that Sonny Ammbo's song was about
                    an actual place.  I even told her
                    about the crazy guy that turned up
                    one morning on the lawn outside my
                    house when I was just a kid and
                    how Mom had to call the cops.
                    And all the while I talked, she
                    hardly said a word.  Boy what a
                    great looker and listener she was.

     We come out of MONTAGE and RIFF pours STEVE some more champagne.

                              STEVE
                    Hey!  Whoah!!  All right!
                    Wow!  Say, what year was that we
                    went to school together ...
                         (RIFF looks coy)
                    ... Was it grade school or Denton
                    High?  I think it must have been
                    grade school, because if you'd had
                    that figure at the high, I would
                    have never given you a moment's
                    peace?  Boy that drive knocked me
                    out, I think I'll just close my
                    eyes for a moment, you don't
                    mind, do you, Judy?  God! but
                    you're beautiful.

     STEVE keels over.  RIFF pours the remainder of STEVE's drink away.  Then
     he begins to empty STEVE's pockets.  We go over his shoulder and see
     STEVE's wallet in CLOSE UP.  It has a similar I.D. to the one JUDY had,
     credit cards, and a couple of rubbers.  RIFF fishes them out, gives them
     the once over and tosses them into a bin.

     Then he stands up, takes off the wig and dumps the grapefruit, after
     which he hauls STEVE into the bedroom and gets him onto the bed - When
     RIFF returns to the living room he has STEVE's pants over his arm, he
     tosses them down in the doorway.

     Then he crosses to the window and stares out into the storm-lashed night,
     if looks could kill the whole of Fresno would be a goner.

     We CUT TO

33.  EXT.  NIGHT.  THE APARTMENT WINDOW.  FRESNO.  NIGHT.

     We PULL AWAY from RIFF's face.  We see the store lights go out.  We see
     the rain bouncing off the top of STEVE's car.  Lightning flashes and
     bleaches the screen to white.

     We CUT TO

34.  INT.  DE LORDY'S BEDROOM.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     This is another place of gothic wonder with a little high-tech futurism
     thrown in.

     JUDY and DE LORDY have just engaged in an act of congress which has
     nothing to do with politics.  She can't believe how good it was and she
     lies back against the pillows with her eyes crossed and her tongue
     hanging out.  There is a lunatic smile of exhaustion spread across her
     face.  DE LORDY gazes at her with adoration.

                              JUDY
                    Are you really a Lord.

                              DE LORDY
                    Indeed I am, I am the heir
                    apparent, the Quirk of fate and
                    first cousin to the Old Queen

                              JUDY
                    The Old Queen?  Is she very old?

                              DE LORDY
                    She's on her last legs and when
                    she learns that her precious son
                    is well and truly dead that will
                    really send her on her way and the
                    royal deck chair will be mine,
                    ours, if you so desire.  You
                    could be Queen of Transsexual in
                    the Galaxy of Transylvania.

                              JUDY
                    Wow!!!  I could probably get
                    fired for this, my boss Ray Ammbo
                    gave me the job of trying to trap
                    a Transylvanian double agent
                    called Steve Majors and here I am
                    in bed with the real thing.

     We begin to PULL AWAY from them, and as we do so DE LORDY and JUDY begin
     to resume further acts of a salacious nature.

                              DE LORDY
                    I thought I knew all our double
                    agents ... By the way, what's you
                    name?

                              JUDY
                    Judith Brankmire, Judy.

                              DE LORDY
                    That's nice.

                              JUDY
                    I'll say.

     We CUT TO

35.  INT.  EARTH.  THE APARTMENT BEDROOM.  FRESNO.  DAY.

     It's the next morning.

     STEVE awakes, not knowing where he is.  When he finds himself half
     undressed he panics a little.  When he finds he's still wearing his
     shoulder holster and gun, he's a little more confident.  He spots his
     wallet by the side of the bed and check it out.  Yes, all the money's
     there, credit cards, his I.D. - he goes to close it, thinks for a moment,
     re-checks it and remembers that he had two rubbers in it, and now they've
     gone.  He smiles to himself and shakes his head in a rueful manner.

                              STEVE
                    Steve Majors, you old dog, even
                    when you're incapable you're still
                    capable, twice ...
                         (he rubs his chin)
                    ... Hey!  This guy needs a shave.

     RIFF appears at the door in male earthwear, no wig.

                              STEVE
                    Hey!  Who the hell are you?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Brankmire, George Brankmire, and I
                    think it should be me that's
                    asking the questions.

                              STEVE
                    Oh yeah?  Like what?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Like what have you done with my
                    sister, Judith Brankmire.

     STEVE pulls the sheet to his chin and swallows nervously.

     We CUT TO

36.  INT.  A COFFEE SHOP.  FRESNO.  EARTH.  DAY.

     It's a typical William Hopper style of diner, with the local crowd in
     small attendance, perhaps eight of ten at the most.  Two of these we
     feature more than the others, one being the WAITRESS, the other being an
     old timer named JOE, although his name is of no importance to us or the
     story.

     STEVE and RIFF are in a corner of their own.  Above the booth they sit
     in, there's an old 50's movie poster for a film entitled "INVASION OF
     THE SAUCERMEN".  They just don't make them the way they used to.

     Incidentally, it's a nice sunny day.

                              STEVE
                    Honest, George, the last I saw of
                    her, she was well and happy, I
                    swear to God I never laid a hand
                    on her.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Well somebody knows something.

                              STEVE
                    Listen, George, I don't know if
                    you know who Judy worked for, or
                    how much your really knew your
                    sister, I mean, that is if she
                    really was your sister.  God!
                    What am I talking about?  You've
                    got the same face, the same eyes,
                    the same oh so kissable lips - ah
                    - sorry, George.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    All I know is that Judy was doing
                    some important work for our
                    government and that the White
                    House had assigned her personally.

     Their coffee comes.

                              WAITRESS
                    There you go.

     She slops it down and goes.

                              STEVE
                    The White House???!!!  Judy had
                    connections at the White House.
                    Wow!  She was - IS some girl.
                    Are you involved in all of this.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Indirectly, I answer only to the
                    President.

                              STEVE
                    Wow!  Look, if we put our heads
                    together maybe we can come up with
                    a few answers.  Judy may have
                    left a clue or two back at the
                    apartment.  But it's my guess
                    that she's been kidnapped by
                    Aliens.

     The diner stops dead.  What did the guy say?  STEVE has their undivided
     attention.


                              ALL
                    Aliens???

     That's right, it's a cue for a song, one which will include the entire
     diner and by the time we get to the end of it, they'll be dancing in the
     street with a few more of the citizens of Fresno.

	SONG:		"NEVER LET YOUR DAUGHTER DATE AN ALIEN"

WAITRESS:

     CREEPING HORROR FROM THE EERIE DEPTHS OF TIME AND SPACE

OLD TIMER:

     HEAPING HORROR ON THE FAIRER SEX OF A FINITE RACE

OTHERS:

     THEY WANT OUR LAND
     THEY WANT OUR AIR
     THE RIO GRANDE
     OUR SAVOIR FAIRE
     OUR CASUAL WEAR
     OUR SIMPLE FLAIR
     OUR SOLITAIRE
     OUR MEDICARE

WAITRESS:

     OUR TABLEWARE

ALL:

     SO ...
     NEVER TRUST A CREATURE FROM OUTER SPACE
     WE'VE NEVER MET A GOOD ONE YET
     THEY JUST THRUST THEIR EVIL FEATURES ALL ABOUT THE PLACE
     AND THAT'S ABOUT AS GOOD AS THEY GET

WAITRESS:

     NO ...
     NEVER LET YOUR DAUGHTER DATE AN ALIEN
     YOU NEVER KNOW JUST WHERE THEY'VE BEEN
     A WORSE THAN DEATH SORT OF FATE WITH A SCALEY ONE
     COULD EVEN TURN YOUR FAMILY GREEN

ALL:

     AND WE DON'T MEAN WITH ENVY
     SO DON'T TELL US THAT THEY'RE FRIENDLY

OLD TIMER:

     OH ...
     NEVER TAKE THE WORD OF A MAN FROM MARS
     DON'T GO FALLING FOR HIS EULOGIES
     YOU'D THINK WE'D NEVER HEARD OF THEIR ABSURD BOUDOIRS
     AND WE'D JUST FALLEN OUT OF THE TREES

TWO VOICES:

     IT'S TERRIFYING GETTING TACTILE
     WITH A MARTIAN PTERODACTYL

FOUR VOICES:

     YOU GET NO SYMPATHETIC TOUCHES
     ONCE THEY GET YOU IN THEIR CLUTCHES

SIX VOICES:

     FOR EVERY NOW AND THEN YOU
     ARE GONNA WIND UP AS THE MENU

ALL:

     NO ... NO ... NO ... NO ...
     NEVER LET YOUR DAUGHTER DATE AN ALIEN
     IT'S A WARNING NO-ONE SHOULD REJECT
     THEY ONLY CONTEMPLATE THE BACCHANALIAN
     (AND) IN THE MORNING THEY' GOT NO RESPECT

TWO VOICES:

     LET'S GET GLOBALLY ALERTED
     BECAUSE THEY'RE TOTALLY PERVERTED

SIX VOICES:

     YES, THEY'LL GET US ALL DISROBING
     AND THEN THEY'LL START THIS PROBING

ALL (SAVE STEVE AND RIFF):

     THEN DEGRADED AND PERSUADED
     WE'LL HAVE EVERY SPACE INVADED

WAITRESS:

     SO IF YOU'RE A GREAT SUPPORTER OF MAMMALIAN

ALL:

     YOU'LL NEVER LET YOUR DAUGHTER DATE AN ALIEN.

     At the end of the song everyone roars with laughter with the exception of
     STEVE and RIFF.

                              WAITRESS
                    Oh by the way, you can forget the
                    check, that's more fun that I've
                    had since Joe here dropped his
                    dentures in the pancake mix.

     They all roar with laughter again, JOE/OLD TIMER slaps his thigh and
     wipes away tears of hilarity.  STEVE smiles weakly and he and RIFF head
     on back to the apartment.

     JOE/OLD TIMER heads for a pay phone.

                              WAITRESS
                    Hey, Joe!  Don't go lettin' them
                    Aliens know that we're on to them.

     They all roar with laughter again and go their separate ways.  We see JOE
     drop the coin right into the slot.  We hear him dial as we PULL FOCUS and
     see STEVE and RIFF enter the street door to the apartment.  We PULL BACK
     and take in JOE as well and by this time, he's through to his party.

     He now has a different voice to his Walter Brennan Gabby Hayes style.

                              JOE
                    They're going back into the
                    apartment now.  Sure, I'll keep a
                    watch on them.

     He hangs up.

     We CUT TO

37.  INT.  DE LORDY'S PLACE.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     JUDY is the center of attention and several of DE LORDY's SERVANTS flit
     around her bedecking her with black lace, satins and ribbons and other
     rich funereal fabrics.

     DE LORDY sits drinking and watching.

                              DE LORDY
                    Delightful.  Although I hate to
                    be deprived of your fabulous
                    flesh.

     One of the SERVANTS plonks a crown of black jewels on her head.

                              DE LORDY
                    Oh yes - Oh yes - Every inch a
                    queen.

     The doors fly open and there stands the OLD QUEEN and if she's dying,
     Arnold Shwarztenegger is a Munchkin.  Behind her stands her heavy MOB
     with calf muscles like knots straining through their fishnets.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    I think it's time that you and I
                    had a little chat, cousin.

     DE LORDY looks horrified as do JUDY and the SERVANTS.

                              DE LORDY
                    Ah ... ha ... ha... Anything in
                    particular, Great Furter?

                              OLD QUEEN
                    How about treason, insurrection,
                    recalcitrance, subversion and
                    halitosis.

                              DE LORDY
                    I don't - I haven't - I've never
                    had halitosis, never.  Ask her,
                    she'll tell you.  I'm shocked
                    that you, my own cousin should be
                    capable of such a slanderous
                    accusation ... look ... hoh!  hoh!
                         (he breathes on his hand)
                    See!  Nothing - It's as sweet as
                    a cherubs.

     The OLD QUEEN walks back to the door, stops and turns.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Lock them up together, they may as
                    well enjoy themselves before the
                    torture begins.

     She exits - the GUARDS move in

                              DE LORDY
                         (still concerned about
                          his breath)
                    HoHHH!!  See!  Nothing to
                    complain about there -
                    Hohhh!!! ...

     He expels air directly into a GUARD's face.

                              DE LORDY
                    ... There, you see?  Lovely,
                    isn't it?  Nothing brackish or
                    stagnant about it, is there? ...

     The GUARD staggers a little.

                              DE LORDY
                    You're putting that on, stop it,
                    you're putting that on.

     JUDY begins to weep.

     We CUT TO

38.  INT.  THE APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  EARTH.  DAY.

     STEVE and RIFF are pouring over a large manual which is inscribed
     "TRANSDUCER PROGRAMMING FOR THE BEGINNER".

                              STEVE
                    It sure was lucky that you found
                    this book, George.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Yes, wasn't it though.

                              STEVE
                    It sure was, is it any use to us?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Yes, I think so.  Is there a
                    shower in this apartment?

                              STEVE
                    Yes - yes, I believe there is.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    That's good.  Why don't we both
                    go and get in it?

                              STEVE
                    Hey, George!!!  Hold on there,
                    buddy, I'm not form California,
                    you know.  I'm strictly down home
                    and apple pie, George.  I mean
                    hey!  Chicks yes - take last
                    night for instance, there I was,
                    drunk as a skunk, but still able
                    to get it on - Oh!!! ha ... ha ...
                    Not with Judy, of course, she's
                    too much of a lady - No, it was ah
                    ... on the way here actually, yes,
                    I had to stop for some gas and
                    pow!  I got lucky with the girl
                    on the cash register.  Twice!!!
                    Just like that, boy!  You should
                    have seen the looks on the faces
                    of the other customers ... So the
                    book is about showers, is it?
                    Fascinating subject showers.
                    I've got a shower in my .... ah ...
                    own apartment, yes, it's a ...
                    pressed steel surround, which in
                    my opinion, is superior to fibre
                    glass.  I always think there's
                    something cheap about fibre glass.
                    Then again I suppose that's its
                    main attraction, and hell,
                    everyone wants to save a few
                    pennies these days, don't they?
                    It has to be cost effective.
                    George?  George?

     RIFF has wandered through to the bathroom - well, wouldn't you?

     We CUT TO

39.  INT.  THE APARTMENT BATHROOM.  FRESNO.  EARTH.  DAY.

     RIFF stands waiting for STEVE.

                              STEVE
                    Oh!  There you are.  Oh yeah,
                    there's the shower.

     RIFF climbs in with the manual.  STEVE begins to follow.

                              STEVE
                    Ahh!  Don't you think we should
                    take our clothes off?  I mean
                    hell!  We're both adults, it's
                    not as though it's something to be
                    ashamed of.

     RIFF flicks a few switches.  A small panel lights up.  It reads.

                         "TRANSDUCER POWER ON"

                              STEVE
                    What's that?  Hey, this isn't
                    just an ordinary shower - this is
                    ... the thing that the book's
                    about.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    A sonic transducer, an audio
                    vibratory physiomolecular
                    transport device, capable of
                    breaking down solid matter and
                    projecting it through space and
                    who knows, perhaps even time
                    itself.

                              STEVE
                    My God!  We've got these
                    Transylvanian Alien Creeps by the
                    short and curlies, George.
                    Assuming of course that they have
                    them.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    All we have to do is punch in the
                    destination and away we go.

                              STEVE
                    But where?  Where do we go,
                    George?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    According to this handbook anyone
                    of a number of places - Alaska -
                    Algeria - Boston - Brussels -
                    Chile - Cincinnati - Denton etc.
                    right through to Washington - X -
                    Y and Zurich.

                              STEVE
                    Washington??!!  Oh my God, the
                    seat of power - Does it say where
                    in Washington?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    No, but we only have to go there
                    to find out.

                              STEVE
                    Okay, let's do it.  No, wait, one
                    of them might be using the shower,
                    I'd sure hate to turn up and be
                    confronted by a naked alien, Yuck!
                    Hey!  Why don't we "go to
                    Denton", after all that's where
                    all this started and we both know
                    our way around there, don't we?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    We do?

                              STEVE
                    Sure we do - I went to school in
                    Denton with Judy, your sister
                    remember?  Funny thing though, I
                    don't remember you as well as I
                    didn't remember her, if you get
                    what I mean.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Oh, ah... I went to school in
                    Europe.

                              STEVE
                    Really?  Hey, nice.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    But you're absolutely right.
                    Denton would be a good place to
                    start.  Now let's see - One at a
                    time I think and you first.

                              STEVE
                    No, I think we should definitely
                    do this together.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    But what if our molecules should
                    get mixed together?

                              STEVE
                    Huh??  Oh!  You mean like the
                    "Fly" I saw that movie - wow
                    you're right, you go first, I'll
                    follow on.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    No, I think you should go first,
                    after all I've read the book, you
                    wouldn't know how to program the
                    device.

                              STEVE
                         (grabs the manual)
                    Listen George, this may come as a
                    surprise to a Guy that's been
                    educated in Europe, but I can read
                    too you know.  Hey, this is in a
                    sort of code.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Runic script, cyphers are my hobby
                    as well as my job.

     STEVE gives RIFF the book back.  RIFF climbs out, after he's pressed a
     button or two.

                              STEVE
                    I hope you pushed the right
                    buttons George, I don't want to
                    wind up in Alaska.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Trust me, Steve.

     STEVE begins to de-materialise.

                              STEVE
                    That's another thing, the Chief
                    said, that I shouldn't trust
                    anybody.

     He's gone.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    And how right he was.

     We CUT TO

40.  INT.  CELL BLOCK.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     Two GUARDS are pushing the luckless JUDY and DE LORDY towards an iron
     door.

                              DE LORDY
                    You've never noticed a trace of
                    bad breath have you Judy...
                         (he turns to the GUARD)
                    ...ask her, go on, not a hint, no
                    so much as a hint, go on, smell
                    it, go on...  Hohh...

     The GUARD staggers again.

                              DE LORDY
                    ...I wish you'd stop fooling
                    around like that, I really do.

                              JUDY
                    He's not fooling, look he's
                    keeling over.

     The GUARD hits the deck - They are all stunned by this, who wouldn't be.
     JUDY quickly breathes on the second GUARD.

                              JUDY
                    I've got a hohhh hunch that we're
                    more compatible than we realised.

     The second GUARD sinks to his knees.  JUDY gives him another blast, his
     eyes glaze and he's out for the count.

                              DE LORDY
                    But this is so humiliating.

                              JUDY
                    Don't worry about it and just
                    thank your lucky stars that we ate
                    what we did last night.  It's only
                    morning after mouth, nothing
                    a little mouthwash and orange
                    juice won't fix, meanwhile let's
                    get the hell out of here.

                              DE LORDY
                    Quite so, my dear, let's get to
                    the transducer and rethink our
                    plan of campaign on YOUR planet.

                              JUDY
                    Okay, I'm with you.

     They head for the stairs.

     We CUT TO

41.  INT.  THE SHOWER.  FRESNO.  EARTH.  DAY.

     We see RIFF climb into the shower with a small black suitcase, he presses
     a few buttons and dematerialises.  We then see JUDY and DE LORDY arrive.

                              JUDY
                    There's some champagne in the
                    refrigerator.

                              DE LORDY
                    Never mind the champagne, let's
                    hit the mouthwash.

     We CUT TO

42.  EXT/INT.  HOLIDAY INN.  DENTON.  EARTH.  DAY.

     We have an EXTERNAL ESTABLISHING SHOT and then PULL TO a second floor
     window.  We DISSOLVE to the interior.

     It's the usual double bedroom with it's ensuite bathroom which is known
     the entire world over to those familiar with that sort of thing.

     A MAID has the hallway door open and enters the bathroom with fresh
     towels, we follow her in.  She places the towels and exits, we stay.  The
     BATH TUB/SHOWER glows and RIFF RAFF appears.  He steps out and leaves, we
     go with him.  We see the MAID with her back to us, over by the window,
     she doesn't see RIFF, he hits the hallway and he's gone - She turns as if
     she heard something, then goes back to what-ever it is that she's doing -
     (This is room 220 by the way.)

     We PAN around and see RIFF, going away from us down the hotel corridor,
     he carries a small black suitcase.

     We CUT TO

43.  EXT.  HOLIDAY INN.  ANCHORAGE, ALASKA.  EARTH.  DAY.

     STEVE is in a pay phone, it's snowing and behind him we can see the
     hotel.

                              STEVE
                    Thanks for accepting the call
                    Chief - Steve Majors - Agent Steve
                    Majors - I know I'm in Alaska - I
                    took the shower - I know it sounds
                    crazy - but - listen Chief they've
                    got Judy - Judy Brankmire, my
                    contact in Fresno - yes - What??
                    She's there with you now??  Is
                    her brother with her?? - Of
                    course, she's got a brother -
                    George - They're the image of each
                    other, only he doesn't have
                    everything that she's got - Well
                    hair for a start.  Of course.  I
                    can give you a description of her
                    Chief, after all, I am a
                    professional - Sure, I know
                    strictly by the book.


     STEVE sings a song about JUDY - which is entitled JUDY - JUDY.  He tries
     to give what you might term a police breakdown - you know female,
     caucasian, height 5,7 - 5,8 - hair red etc.  But let's face it the
     guy's smitten so it winds up like this.

	SONG:		"JUDY JUDY JUDY"

STEVE:

     SHE STOOD QUITE A GOOD FIVE FOOT SEVEN
     A CAUCASIAN TO PRAISE AND INSPIRE
     PEACHES AND CREAM
     AN AMERICAN DREAM
     BUILT MORE TO ADORE THAN ADMIRE

     SHE WAS THE REAL McCOY
     NOTHING LIKE A BOY
     VERITABLY NATURAL
     ACTUALLY FACTUAL
     GENUINELY FEMININE
     CONCLUDE THAT SHE'S A CUTIE
     WHO'D STICK WITH YOU THROUGH THICK AND THINK
     MY JUDY JUDY

     SHE HAD LEGS THAT WENT RIGHT UP TO HEAVEN
     AND HAIR THE COLOUR OF FIRE
     THE SLIMMEST OF HIPS
     IRRESISTIBLE LIPS
     AND UNQUENCHABLE SEXUAL DESIRE

     GOD WENT AND BROKE THE MOULD
     WHEN THIS CENTRE-FOLD
     LOST HER CHILDHOOD AWKWARDNESS
     AND BLOSSOMED INTO LOVELINESS
     THINK OF HOW OUR LIFE COULD BE
     INCLUDE THE TOOTIE FRUITY
     I THINK THAT SHE'S THE WIFE FOR ME
     MY JUDY JUDY

     We CUT AWAY TO

43B. INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.

     The real JUDY, DE LORDY, MARY LOU and SONNY are there; it looks like a
     party.  RAY is on the phone.

                              RAY
                    What happened to professional
                    detachment?  Objectivity?  And a
                    dispassionate interpretation of
                    the facts, Agent Majors?

     They all snigger.

     We CUT BACK TO

43.  EXT.  HOLIDAY INN.  ANCHORAGE, ALASKA.  EARTH.  DAY.

                              STEVE
                    Sorry, Chief ... ah ...

     Sings:

     HER WEIGHT WAS ONE HUNDRED ELEVEN
     EXCEPT FOR HER LOVELY ATTIRE
     HER DRESS WITH THE FLOUNCES
     WEIGHED LESS THAN TWO OUNCES
     AND COULDN'T HAVE GONE ANY HIGHER

     SHE HAD THE KIND OF LIMBS
     THAT YOU WON'T FIND ON HIMS
     LONG AND LEAN DEVOID OF HAIR
     STRONG AND CLEAN BOY DID I STARE
     I WISH I HAD A PHOTOGRAPH
     THEN YOU'D SEE HER TRUE BEAUTY
     I'D LET HER BE MY BETTER HALF
     MY ... JUDY JUDY
     MY ... JUDY JUDY

     The song ends and

     We CUT TO

44.  EXT.  A ROAD OUTSIDE DENTON.  EARTH.  DAY.

     We see an old pair of iron gates which are falling off their hinges and
     an old broken sign which once said "Enter at your own risk".

     (See "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" for exact example)

     RIFF RAFF's legs come into view and the black bag - We PULL AWAY and see
     him in LONG SHOT, there is a cab beside him - he gets back in and it
     drives through the gates.

     We CUT TO

45.  INT.  HOLIDAY INN.  ALASKA.  EARTH.  DAY.

     STEVE is in the hallway outside room 220.  The room that has the
     transducer in it.  But the MAID here is not about to let him in.

                              STEVE
                    But you don't understand, this is
                    an emergency, I've got to use the
                    shower.

                              MAID
                    Only guests can use the showers.
                    You'll have to sign in at the
                    front desk.

                              STEVE
                    Look lady, I'm with the Bureau of
                    Investigation of UFO's and I've
                    got to get in that shower and
                    transport myself to Denton, do you
                    understand?

                              MAID
                         (she's scared - why not?)
                    I ... I ... ah ... you'd better
                    see the Manager - I'll go and get
                    him.

     And she takes off, looking back at him.  STEVE tries the door handle,
     it's open.  He calls to the retreating MAID.

                              STEVE
                    It's okay - I've got it.

     He goes in.  We hear the lock click behind him.

                              MAID
                         (not knowing which way to
                          go)
                    But - but... Oh my God.

     She really goes this time.

     We CUT TO

46.  INT.  ROOM IN THE HOLIDAY INN.  ALASKA.  EARTH.  DAY.

     In other words, we're on the other side of the door now - STEVE gets into
     the bathroom and climbs into the shower.

                              STEVE
                    Okay, so where are all the knobs
                    and switches?  Oh no!  Don't
                    tell me I'm in the wrong shower -
                    I can't be, it was room 220.  I
                    know it was.

     He looks around him at the wall tiles.  He presses a few of them, pulls
     the plug lever, twists the taps, wishes he hadn't, pulls the nylon
     clothes line that recoils into it's pulley, then he takes off his shoe
     and starts smashing the tiles off the wall.

     Finally, he sees that two of the tiles are hinged and open like cupboard
     doors to reveal the transducer control panel.

                              STEVE
                    Okay -
                         (he slips his shoe back
                          on)
                    Now let's get our act together
                    here, use a little lateral
                    thinking - So, there are 26
                    letters in the alphabet - "A"
                    representing number "1"; "B"
                    number "2" and so on.  So, if I
                    want to spell out Denton, I'd have
                    to press this button for D. - ABCD
                    -
                         (he counts his fingers)
                    4 times and then E - ABCDE -
                         (he does it again)
                    5 times - and N, that's ABCDEFG...

     We CUT TO

47.  INT.  THE CORRIDOR OUTSIDE 220 HOLIDAY IN.  ALASKA.  EARTH.  DAY.

     The MAID has returned with the MANAGER.

                              MANAGER
                    Is this the room?
                         (she nods)
                    ... Are you sure?  All right, let
                    me have your pass key.

     She hands it over and he puts it in the lock.

     We CUT TO

48.  INT.  SHOWER.  ROOM 220.  HOLIDAY INN.  ALASKA.  EARTH.  DAY.

                              STEVE
                    Okay, just the "O" and the "N" to
                    go A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O -
                    that's 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
                    13 14 15 and hey, what's happening
                    - I haven't finished yet, I've one
                    more to go.

     He starts to fade.  The MAID looks in and sees him go - she's about to
     have a bad time of it - STEVE's gone.  The MANAGER looks in, all he sees
     are the broken tiles.

                              MANAGER
                    Perhaps you'd care to explain this
                    destruction.  Miss Yerkovitch.
                    Come, come, speak up.

                              MAID
                    I ah ... he ah ... huh huh huh ...

                              MANAGER
                    In English please, Miss
                    Yerkovitch.

     We CUT TO

49.  EXT.  THE OUTSKIRTS OF DENTON.  EARTH.  DAY.

     RIFF is looking out of the cab window, his chin on the door sill, he
     looks very dejected.  We PAN AROUND and see why.

     There in front of us stands a new-ish housing development and a sign
     reading:

                              DENTON
                            HAPPY HOMES
                              HOUSING
                            DEVELOPMENT

     RIFF sighs.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    I was afraid of something like
                    this.

                              CABBY
                    Why?  Whatcha do?  Bury a
                    bankroll down there before they
                    built all them houses.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Something like that, take me back
                    to the Holiday Inn, will you?

                              CABBY
                    Sure.

     He shoves the cab into gear and

     We CUT TO

50.  INT.  RAY AMMBO'S EXECUTIVE WASHROOM.  WASHINGTON.  EARTH.  DAY.

     The shower starts to pulse.  Again it's one which is incorporated with a
     bath, only this one has a mahogany surround and the look of a wealthy
     "Men's Club" to it, in fact the whole bathroom has that look.  STEVE
     looks around and approving of what he sees, gives a small whistle.  We
     see a few fishnets hanging around.

     He crosses to the door, which is slightly ajar and peeking through, he,
     and we, see RAY perched on the corner of his desk.  He's smiling and
     talking to someone out of sight.

     STEVE pushes the door open a little.

                              STEVE
                         (sotto voce)
                    Good grief!  It's the Chief!

     RAY looks around towards STEVE and CAMERA.

                              RAY
                    Steve!  Come on in, we've been
                    waiting for you.  Judy and my
                    very good friend Lord De Lordy
                    have just zipped in from Fresno.

                              JUDY
                    Hi, Steve, we went to school
                    together.

                              DE LORDY
                    How do you do?

                              RAY
                    And this is my boy, Sonny.

     RAY waves a hand towards SONNY.  They all look as though they've been
     having an orgy and it went rather better than expected.

     We can take a SLOW PAN around the room to take all this in and while
     doing so hear a few more of STEVE's deep and profound thoughts, i.e.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    It was like trying to put together
                    a jigsaw with all the wrong
                    pieces.

                    How come the Chief had a sonic
                    transducer in the executive
                    washroom?  And just how had Judy
                    Brankmire zipped from Fresno to
                    here?  Sure, this was the real
                    Judy Brankmire.  I remember her
                    now, she used to sit at the back
                    of Miss Peterson's class and pass
                    wind.  I hated her then and I was
                    hating her now.  And who was the
                    phoney Lord that was pawing her
                    and why were they dressed up like
                    they didn't know whether they were
                    going to bed or a funeral?

                    And how come they were expecting
                    me?

                    And what was Ray's son, the rock
                    star Sonny Ammbo doing here?

                              RAY
                    Why don't we all have another
                    quick drink and then piss off to
                    Denton?  That is where you were
                    trying to get to, isn't it, Steve?

                              STEVE
                    You seem to have all the answers,
                    Chief.

                              RAY
                    Do I?  Well if I do, you must
                    have all the questions.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    Sure, I had a million questions
                    but it was my guess they had a
                    million and one answers.

                              RAY
                    I knew you were going to be
                    trouble, Steve, when you told me
                    that you knew that the Rocky
                    Horror Show was based on a real
                    event that took place in Denton
                    fifteen or so years ago and then
                    there was your name, Majors, you
                    wouldn't be related to the late
                    Brad Majors, would you?

     SONNY mutters the word 'asshole' under his breath.  STEVE is a little red
     in the face and chooses to pretend that he didn't hear.

                              STEVE
                    So, you know that he's dead as
                    well, do you, perhaps you also
                    know how he died, no, well I'll
                    tell you.  A transylvanian ...

                              SONNY
                    Frank 'N' Furter

     STEVE again ignores SONNY

                              STEVE
                    Seduced my brother Brad ...

                              SONNY
                    Asshole.

                              STEVE
                    ... and his fiance, Janet
                    Weiss ...

                              SONNY
                    Slut.

                              RAY
                    Let Steve get on with it, Sonny.

                              STEVE
                    They were both forced to do
                    despicable things and it sent
                    the two of them completely whacko ...
                    Janet only wound up as a hooker
                    and a drunk, but my brother ... my
                    brother finished up ... as a
                    bottomless go-go dancer in Vegas
                    ... and ...
                         (this is getting hard for
                          him, he's all choked up)
                    ... he fell to his death from a
                    trapeze which was thirty feet
                    above the crowd ...

     The others are really enjoying this, they're having a hard job not to
     laugh.

                              STEVE
                         (in tears)
                    ... and they took him to the
                    morgue, wearing nothing, but six
                    inch heels and a rhinestone
                    choker.

     They splutter with helpless laughter and then try to cover it up.


                              RAY
                    So, just what is it that you want
                    Steve?

	SONG:		"I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK"

RAY:

     DO YOU WANT MONEY?

STEVE:

     NO NO NO

MARY LOU:

     HOW ABOUT SOME HONEY?

STEVE:

     NO NO NO

JUDY:

     DO YOU WANT POWER?

STEVE:

     NO NO NO

SONNY:

     HOW ABOUT A SHOWER?

STEVE:

     NO! NO! NO!!!

     I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN HURTING MY LOVED ONES
     I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN SMUTTY SMUT-TEE
     I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN SQUIRTING THEIR
          LOVE GUNS
     I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN YUCKIE YUCK-EE
     I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN BACK.  I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK

OTHERS:

     SUCK IT AND SEE

STEVE:

     I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN GETTING IN MY FACE
     I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN CAUSING ME PAIN
     I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN GETTING ON MY CASE
     I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO ARE VAIN AND PROFANE
     I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN BACK.  I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK

OTHERS:

     MAKE YOUR OWN RAIN
     YOU'VE GOT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF YOUR PROBLEM
     YOU'VE GOT TO STOP AND START TO TAKE YOURSELF IN HAND
     YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE A LITTLE, LOVE A LITTLE, LAUGH A LITTLE MORE
     AND THEN, AND ONLY THEN YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
     IF YOU WANT TO GET YOUR OWN BACK THEN GET CLOSER
     TO THE OBJECT OF YOUR HATE AND LEARN THEIR WAYS
     THEN WHEN YOU KNOW THE WHY'S AND WHAT'S YOU CAN TRY AND CALL SOME SHOTS
     BUT BEWARE THE HATEFUL FATEFUL RICOCHETS

STEVE:

     I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN TREADING ON MY TOES
     I WANT TO PAY THEM BACK FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT THEY'VE BITTEN AND
          SKINNED
     I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN BACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GETTING UP MY NOSE
     AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT AS A STATEMENT OF FACT WHICH I'LL NEVER RESCIND
     I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN BACK.  I WANT TO GET MY OWN BACK

OTHERS:

     SPIT IN THE WIND

     The song concludes in RAY's executive suite bathroom.

                              RAY
                    Okay, Steve, if you're committed
                    to getting your own back on those
                    Transylvanians, I suggest we try
                    and catch up with your new found
                    friend George Brankmire, who you
                    may or may not be surprised to
                    discover is a high ranking
                    Transylvanian General, name of
                    Riff Raff.

                              STEVE
                    I was beginning to figure that it
                    was something like that.

     The other climb into the bath.  Except for MARY LOU.

                              RAY
                    Sure you were.  Hold the fort,
                    Mary Lou - Coming, Steve?

                              STEVE
                    What about the molecules?

                              RAY
                    What about them?

                              STEVE
                    Won't they mix together, like The
                    Fly?

                              SONNY
                    I think he means the movie.

     RAY thinks about this for a moment, then the penny drops.

                              RAY
                    Oh!  Hell no!  Do you think I'd
                    risk getting mixed up with this
                    crowd?  I like them but I'm
                    damned if I want their bodily
                    parts, any more than they want
                    mine or yours.

                              STEVE
                    Well ... If you're sure.

     He climbs reluctantly into the bath.

                              STEVE
                    What I really want to know is, who
                    was the woman who was
                    impersonating Agent Brankmire
                    here?

     All the faces radiate an innocence that is just that bit too wide-eyed to
     be true.

                              ALL
                    Ah???  Yes ... Who indeed ...
                    etc ...

     We CUT TO

51.  INT.  CORRIDOR.  HOLIDAY INN.  DENTON.  DAY.

     RIFF is outside the door of room 220, which, to save confusion in the
     audience's mind, is a different colour and style from the one that we saw
     STEVE outside in Alaska.

     RIFF tries the handle quietly, it's locked.  He takes a sonic key from
     his pocket, switches it on and points it at the lock.

     The door opens and standing there is a rather blowzy blonde of middle to
     late thirties, but looking considerably older, her once beautiful face
     showing the ravages of excess and despair.  This is none other than JANET
     WEISS, one time fiance of STEVE's elder brother, the late BRAD MAJORS.

     RIFF and she have met before, but what with her looking as she does and
     her fuddled mind neither of them make any instant recognition.  They do
     detect a 'certain something' which neither of them can put their finger
     on, but that, for now, is all.

     RIFF quickly hides the sonic key.  JANET looks suspiciously at him.

                              JANET
                    Yeah?  So what do YOU want?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    I have to check your bathroom out
                    for soundproofing, there have been
                    complaints from some of the
                    guests.

                              JANET
                    Oh yeah?

     RIFF pushes past her and ducks into the bathroom, closing the door behind
     him.  JANET crosses to it and opens it a little.

                              JANET
                    Is this going to take long?

                              RIFF RAFF (V.O.)
                    Just shut the door, lady.

     JANET pulls a face at the bathroom door, gives it the finger and after
     she has pulled the bathroom door closed, turns and slams the hall door
     shut in our face.

     We CUT TO

52.  INT.  BATHROOM.  HOLIDAY INN.  DENTON.  DAY.

     RIFF pulls back the shower curtain and gets in and sits on the side of
     the bath.  He presses three of the wall tiles in a pattern of sorts and
     on the last one we hear a kind of bleep and two others flip open to
     reveal the operating panel.

     RIFF hauls up his suitcase, opens it and taking out a raincoat puts in
     on, then he fiddles with the panel until it comes loose, fits a bit of
     high tech wizardry into the circuit board, replaces the panel, shuts his
     suitcase.  Then he programs the transducer.  We see the word "TIMEWARP"
     come up on the panel - he presses a knob or two and we see a few more
     lights come on.

                              RIFF RAFF
                         (looks at his watch)
                    Let me see now, 14, 2, seventeen,
                    and 22 and a half - No - that's
                    not right, 18, 3 and a
                    quarter ...
                         (he primes the
                          transducer)
                    ... All right, now let's do the
                    Timewarp again.
                         (he shuts the panel)

     He disappears.

     The door opens and JANET stands there with a drink in her hand and a
     puzzles look on her face.

                              JANET
                    Hey!  Don't I know you from
                    somewhere?  Hey, where d'yah go?
                    How come I only get to meet the
                    riff raff now a days.  Riff raff?
                    Why'd I say that?

     We CUT TO

53.  INT.  THE PALACE OF THE OLD QUEEN.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     Present are, the OLD QUEEN, the TWO GUARDS, who were supposed to have
     locked up JUDY and DE LORDY, plus TRANSYLVANIAN COURTIERS.

     The OLD QUEEN is furious, to say the least.  The TWO GUARDS are on their
     knees before her, both have been stripped naked and are about to be
     tortured.  I'm not sure how, but rest assured it'll be fairly disgusting.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Well, this has to be a first in
                    anybody's book.  'With one breath
                    Jack was free', well you're about
                    to get a lesson in how to kiss
                    ass, and we all know who's ass
                    that's going to be as well, don't
                    we?

     She sings.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE"

OLD QUEEN:

     DO YOU CONSTRUE WHAT'S OVERDUE
     NOT TO YOU
     BUT YOU KNOW WHO?

GUARDS:

     LOVE AND RESPECT

OLD QUEEN:

     WHAT???!!!

GUARDS (LOUDER):

     LOVE AND RESPECT

OLD QUEEN:

     SO, WHY DON'T WE PAUSE AND REFLECT, ON ...

ENTIRE COURT:

     LOVE AND RESPECT

OLD QUEEN:

     AND THE POSSIBLE CAUSE AND EFFECT, OF ...

COURT:

     LOVE AND RESPECT

OLD QUEEN:

     YEAH!
     VENGEANCE IS MINE
(TO THE GUARDS)
     THE OFFENCES ARE THINE
     SUFFER THE EVIL DOER TO COME UNTO ME
     THERE'S GOING TO BE WEEPING, WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH
     BLEATING AND RAILING AND LASHINGS OF GRIEF
     A LOT OF GOOD GUYS HAVE DIED WHEN THEY LIED IN MY FACE
     THERE'S GOING TO BE LYING, CRYING AND PENITENT PLEAS
     SIGHTING, DYING BENT ON YOUR KNEES
     AND YOU'RE GOING TO FIND THERE AIN'T NO HIDING PLACE

     We CUT TO

54.  INT.  BATHROOM.  HOLIDAY INN.  DENTON.  DAY.

     We see JANET on the john with a drink in her hand and her pants around
     her ankles.  She's also trying to suck on a cigarette and remember what
     she's spent the last fifteen odd years trying to forget.

     We hear the (by now) familiar pulsing sound of the transducer, and a
     strange light pulses with it and washes across JANET.  She looks towards
     the source and her mouth falls open.  She's terrified.  She dribbles with
     fear.  We PULL AROUND and see JUDY, DE LORDY, STEVE, RAY and SONNY appear
     in the bath.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

ALL (SAVE JANET):

     YOU'RE GOING TO FIND THERE AIN'T NO HIDING PLACE.

     The song takes a pause here but the beat goes on.

                              JANET
                    AHHHGGGHHH!!!  BLAH BLAH BABBLE
                    BABBLE ...

                              RAY
                    Not you, mam, we have every
                    respect for a lady on the john.
                    Sonny, draw the shower curtain.

     SONNY does so and as he does, he winks lasciviously at JANET.  She looks
     at him and as she does so, she starts to remember FRANK 'N' FURTER.  It's
     not that SONNY is a dead ringer for him, so much as the clothes he's
     wearing and his painted face.

     STEVE starts to stare a little harder at JANET as well.  He thinks he
     recognizes her.  She looks at both him and SONNY and tries to work it
     out.

     RAY meanwhile has been fooling around with the control panel that RIFF
     has re-programmed.

                              RAY
                    Yahooo!!
                         (pokes his head around
                          the curtain)
                    Excuse us, mam, we're going to
                    take a little trip down memory
                    lane.  Bye bye now.

     He presses the switch (or whatever) and they begin to fade away.  As they
     go we hear the following dialogue.

                              STEVE
                    I'm sure that woman is Janet
                    Weiss.

                              SONNY
                    Slut.

                              STEVE
                    My brother Brad's fiance.

                              SONNY
                    Asshole.

                              JUDY
                    I think perhaps you're right,
                    Steve.

                              SONNY (V.O.)
                    Where exactly is it that we're
                    going, Pop?

                              RAY (V.O.)
                    Into the past.

     They've gone.  JANET gets off the john and shuffles across to the bath.
     She pulls back the curtain.

                              JANET
                    Brad???  Brad??? Frank 'N'
                    Furter???  It's me, Janet - It's
                    me.  ME!!!

     We CUT TO

55.  INT.  RAY'S EXECUTIVE BATHROOM.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

     The very large bath/shower is at first empty.  We see the same pulsing
     light and hear the same pulsing sound as before, and before our very
     eyes, the largest assembly of PEOPLE ever gathered together in one bath
     appear.  Their dress is of an extremely Gothic and provocative nature, to
     say the least.

     In the centre stands the OLD QUEEN.  Many of the GUARDS have pitch-fork
     ray-guns.  As they step from the shower, a second wave of strange PEOPLE
     arrive  The new arrivals are dressed in black satin trousers, tail
     jackets and dark glasses..  These are the Transylvanian AMBASSADORS from
     the four corners of the Earth.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

ALL:

     THE SENTENCE IS DOOM
     COMMENCEMENT IS SOON

OLD QUEEN:

     THE ROUGHER WE HEAVE IN THE SKEWER (THE) MORE FUN IT'LL BE

ALL:

     YOU'RE GOING TO BE SWEARING CARE AND CHEATING YOUR BEST
     TEARING HAIR AND BEATING YOUR BREAST

OLD QUEEN:

     WOULD THAT YOU'D TRIED SUICIDE NOT THIS MISGUIDED CHASE

We CUT TO

56.  EXT.  DENTON OUTSKIRTS.  THE PAST.  NIGHT.

     It's pouring with rain and lightning reveals those gates again.  This
     time, however, they are exactly the same as they were those fifteen (or
     so) years before.

     We SWING AROUND and there in TIGHT SHOT we see RIFF, his collar turned up
     against the rain.

     He sings.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

RIFF RAFF:

     THERE'S GOING TO BE DANGERS WEIGHED AND PEOPLE TO STOP
     CHANGES MADE WITH ME AT THE TOP - AND ...

     We CUT TO

57.  INT.  RAY'S EXECUTIVE BATHROOM.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

     Same crowd as before.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

ALL:

     ... YOU'RE GOING TO FIND THERE AIN'T NO HIDING PLACE

     The OLD QUEEN moves towards the door.  It opens and MARY LOU stands there
     with some chocolates in her hand (nice box too).

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Where the hell is everybody,
                    sister?

                              MARY LOU
                    Why, you all just missed them.
                    They all took off for Denton.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    DENTON!!!  My Boy, my Frankie
                    used to send me postcards from a
                    place called Denton.  Let's go.

     They all surge back into the bath again.

                              MARY LOU
                    Hey!  Wait!

     They stop and a dreadful silence falls on the proceedings.  The OLD QUEEN
     looks at MARY LOU as though she were something very unpleasant.  It's a
     split second freeze.

                              MARY LOU
                    Can I come with you?

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

OLD QUEEN:

     I'LL CONCEDE, OH YES INDEED
     IF YOU CAN
     FEED ME WHAT I NEED

MARY LOU:

     LOVE AND RESPECT

OLD QUEEN:

     WHAT!!!

MARY LOU (LOUDER):

     LOVE AND RESPECT

OLD QUEEN:

     WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE I EXPECT

ALL:

     LOVE AND RESPECT

OLD QUEEN:

     WHAT MUST YOU NEVER NEGLECT?

ALL:

     LOVE AND RESPECT

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Okay, let's go.

     We CUT TO

58.  EXT.  GATES TO OLD HOUSE.  DENTON OUTSKIRTS.  THE PAST.  NIGHT.

     It's still hosing down.  We see RAY, JUDY, DE LORDY, SONNY and STEVE
     hurrying towards us and then through the gates.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

ALL:

     TIME AFTER TIME
     AND TIME BEFORE TIME
     THERE'S TOO MUCH TIME TO FILL

     We CUT TO

59.  EXT.  THE OLD HOUSE GROUNDS.  THE PAST.  NIGHT.

     RIFF runs across the lawns.  He still carries his black case, but now he
     has a pitchfork laser in his hand.  A pack of baying DOGS run towards
     him.

     RIFF turns the ray-gun on the animals and keeps heading for the house,
     singing as he goes.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

RIFF RAFF:

     TIME OUT OF MIND
     AND THIS TIME YOU'LL FIND
     THERE'S ALWAYS TIME TO KILL

     We CUT TO

60.  EXT.  GATES TO OLD HOUSE.  DENTON OUTSKIRTS.  THE PAST.  NIGHT.

     The OLD QUEEN and her hordes sweep through the gates.  The OLD QUEEN has
     her arms locked around two people who are not dressed as the others.  One
     is MARY LOU, the other is a very mixed up JANET.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

OLD QUEEN:

     YOU CAN RACE THROUGH TIME
     YOU CAN CHASE THROUGH SPACE
     BUT THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME ...

ALL:

     WHEN THERE AIN'T NO HIDING PLACE

JANET:

     GIVE ME LOVE AND RESPECT

     We CUT TO

61.  EXT.  THE GROUNDS.  THE PAST.  NIGHT.

     RIFF is still weaving his way across the lawn.  In fact, he's almost made
     it to the house.

	SONG:		"NO HIDING PLACE" (cont.)

RIFF RAFF:

     GOT TO CHANGE THE PAST
     THERE'S NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT
     RE-ARRANGE IT FAST
     AND TELL IT LIKE IT ISN'T

     RAY and his team come running across the rain lashed garden towards him.

RAY'S TEAM:

     TRYING TO ERASE
     A TIME OF DISGRACE
     THIS TIME YOU'RE GOING TO FIND ...

     The OLD QUEEN arrives with the heavy mob.

ENTIRE COMPANY:

     THERE AIN'T NO HIDING PLACE

OLD QUEEN:

     GIVE ME LOVE AND RESPECT

     The song ends, and as it does so RIFF fires at the OLD QUEEN and hits a
     tree behind her.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Holy shit!  Get that sucker!

     All hell breaks loose.  RIFF ducks and weaves, firing as he does so.  The
     Transylvanian GUARDS spread out, as do the TRANNIE AMBASSADORS.  RAY,
     JUDY, DE LORDY, STEVE and SONNY are caught in a vicious crossfire.

                              RAY
                    Hold your fire.  Hold your fire!

     Everything stops for a second.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Who the hell are you to
                    countermand my orders.

                              JANET
                         (to herself)
                    I know this place.

                              RAY
                    Ray Ammbo, an Earthling.  Loyal
                    to the Transylvanian way.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    And who is that with you, Ray
                    Ammbo, loyal Earthling?

                              RAY
                    Your Royal cousin ...

                              DE LORDY
                    SHHHHH ...

                              RAY
                    Lord De Lordy is here, and ...

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Lord De Lordy???  Let them have
                    it, and give them everything
                    you've got.

     DE LORDY runs towards RIFF RAFF.

                              DE LORDY
                    Riff Raff!  I'm on your side.
                    I didn't really do it with your
                    sister.  I was only teasing.

     RIFF kills him.  JUDY runs to DE LORDY's fallen body.

                              JUDY
                    You've killed him ... Kill me too.

     He obliges.

     While all this is happening RAY has thrown SONNY to the ground.  STEVE
     has been ducking a few wild shots and, as we know, the grass is very wet.
     He gets a laser burn across his forehead, he slips, slides and rolls out
     of sight and out of mind.  In fact, he's out for the count.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Okay!  Okay!  Hold your fire!

                              JANET
                    I know this place.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Can it, sister.  Okay.  What the
                    hell is going on here?

                              RAY
                    Riff Raff is killing your son, in
                    that house, even as we speak.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    I am not!

                              OLD QUEEN
                    RIFF RAFF, IS THIS TRUE?

                              RIFF RAFF
                    No!  I would never do such a
                    thing.

     DE LORDY raises himself weakly from his prone position.

                              DE LORDY
                    He is, it's true.  He came back
                    here to try and change the past
                    and save his neck.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    I didn't, I didn't.

                              DE LORDY
                    He did.  Your precious son, the
                    noble Frank 'N' Furter is in that
                    house being assassinated by him,
                    and I'm glad.  Do you hear me?
                    Glad ... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

     RIFF gives him another blast of laser juice.

                              JANET
                    It's true.  I was here - there -
                    here when it happened.  It's all
                    coming back to me now.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Okay, troops, get your asses into
                    that house and stop what ever's
                    happening in there.
                         (some of the TRANNIES
                          hang back)
                    All of you, move it.

     The HORDES run towards the house.  RIFF hides behind a tree (or
     anything).  MARY LOU tries to comfort JANET who keeps telling her and the
     OLD QUEEN that 'she knows this place'.  RAY and SONNY keep their heads
     down.  SONNY keeps saying how great it all is.

     As the TROOPS get into the house and close to its windows and walls, the
     house takes off and all of them are killed in the blast.

     As one of the GUARDS gets thrown on his back, his laser is fired and poor
     old RAY gets it between the shoulder blades.

     We are now left with a small group of survivors; the OLD QUEEN, MARY LOU,
     JANET, SONNY and RIFF RAFF.  They all gather around the dying RAY.  JANET
     looks at SONNY.

                              JANET
                    Are you Frank 'N' Furter?  You
                    look like Frank 'N' Furter.

                              RAY
                    He's his son.  Your son, Janet.
                    Don't you remember?  I know he
                    looks a little old for his age but
                    he always has done.  You were in
                    a drunken stupor the day he was
                    born.  I ah ... I'm going now ...
                    so ... look after ... him for
                    me ...

     He dies.  SONNY crosses to JANET and slipping his arms around her waist
     he kisses her passionately.

                              SONNY
                    Hi sweet Momma.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    He is his father's son.  Come to
                    grandma and give her some of what
                    she wants.

                              SONNY
                    Anytime, Grandma, anytime.

     He gets real steamy with her and I'm afraid to say it's all a little too
     much for the old girl.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    OH!  OH! ... Oh the excitement
                    ... I oh my heart ... Oh baby!

     She keels over.

                              SONNY
                    Well, what do you know?  I guess
                    that makes me numero uno now.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    The Big Furter.

     They all turn and are aware of RIFF as if for the first time.  They also
     note that he is still holding the pitchfork laser.

                              SONNY
                    ... I hope you're not thinking of
                    using that thing, Riff.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    On the contrary, I would never
                    harm a hair on the head of a Royal
                    Furter.  My only wish is to
                    serve.

                              SONNY
                    That's good, because I'm going to
                    need a man like you, and first
                    off, you can get us out of here
                    and back to our own time.  Then
                    you can take us to that place of
                    enchantment.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    The planet of Transsexual in the
                    Galaxy of Transylvania.

                              SONNY
                    Damn right!  Lead the way.

     They walk away with RIFF leading and SONNY following with his arms around
     JANET and MARY LOU and his hands on their behinds.  They disappear into
     the rain.

     We stay at a LONG and LOW SHOT and watch them go.  We TIGHTEN FOCUS and
     see STEVE in CLOSE UP.  He shakes his head and looks around himself.  The
     lawn is littered with bodies.

                              STEVE
                    Hey!  Where is everybody?

     We CUT TO

62.  INT.  THE PALACE OF THE NEW FURTER.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     It's just your average Transylvanian, gothic, rococo, glittering
     coronation scene.  SONNY is up on the royal deck chair and standing
     behind him are JANET and MARY LOU.  To one side, lurking in the crowd, we
     see RIFF.  The Royal Tiara is placed upon SONNY's head, and, it has to be
     said, that he does look splendid.  The SMALL PERSON steps forward.

                              SMALL PERSON
                    Long live Sonny Furter, son of
                    Frank, grandson of the Old Queen
                    and Great Furter to us all.

                              ALL
                    Hail to you, Great Furter, lace
                    curtain, silk stocking and panty
                    waist.

                              SONNY
                    What can I always expect?

                              ALL
                    LOVE AND RESPECT

                              SONNY
                    WHAT MUST YOU ALWAYS PROJECT?

                              ALL
                    LOVE AND RESPECT

	SONG:		"LITTLE OLD HEART STOPPING ME"

SONNY:

     THIS IS A BRAND NEW BEGINNING
     YES, THIS TIME YOU'RE GOING TO BE FREE
     TO KNEEL AT THE ALTER
     AND FEEL YOURSELF FALTER
     SEDUCED BY THE BEAUTY YOU SEE
     AND THE HYMN TO THE HIM YOU'LL BE SINGING
     WILL UNLOCK IN ITS DOXOLOGY
     THAT ABOVE ALL YOUR NEW JOY
     YOU LOVE A NEW BOY
     YES, LITTLE OLD HEART STOPPING ME

     (GONNA) TO BUMP AND GRIND
     (GONNA) TO STRUT MY STUFF
     AND YOU'RE GOING TO FIND
     YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH
     OF WHAT I'VE GOT
     AND I'VE GOT A LOT
     OF SO MUCH COOL
     THAT I'M RED HOT
     LET ME TELL YOU WHO'S THE STAR TO SET YOU FREE
     YES, LITTLE OLD HEART STOPPING ME

     SOME DAME WAS NAMED
     AFTER HEAVEN'S QUEEN
     A FAKE PRINCE CLAIMED
     HE WAS A SEX MACHINE
     SO SAVE YOUR TIME
     AND YOUR LOYALTY
     REMEMBER I'M
     TRUE ROYALTY
     IF YOU'RE THINKING WHO'S THE KING OF ECSTASY
     IT'S, LITTLE OLD HEART STOPPING ME

ALL (MID 8):

     YOU'RE MORE THAN A KING
     YOU'RE OUR EVERYTHING
     THE TRUE BLUE MESSIAH
     OF OUR NEW DESIRE
     OUR MOJO OUR FETISH
     WHO'S OH SO COQUETTISH
     OUR GYMNASTIC VENUS
     WITH THE DYNASTIC GENUS
     AND WE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT
     CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT

SONNY:

     I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED
     I'M HOLDING NOTHING BACK
     UNTIL I HEAR YOU PLEAD
     FOR A HEART ATTACK
     I'LL BE YOUR SUGAR PLUM
     UNTIL IT'S YOUR DEATH DAY
     AND THEN I'M GONNA COME
     AND TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY
     WHO GIVES HIS WHOLE UN-CHARTED SOUL TO THEE?
     YES, LITTLE OLD HEART STOPPING ME.
     IT'S LITTLE OLD HEART STOPPING ME.

     This of course will be a fairly big production number, during which RIFF
     sneaks away.

     It's possible that we might cut away to STEVE staggering back out of the
     gate of the OLD HOUSE as the rain stops and dawn begins to break.

     At the conclusion of the song we

     CUT TO

63.  EXT.  A SUBURBAN STREET.  DENTON.  THE PAST.  EARLY MORNING.

     The storm has finished and we are in a quiet, small American town suburb
     of around fifteen years ago.

     We see STEVE looking very rough after his ordeal.  He is dirty and muddy
     with grass stains all over his clothes.  He's also in need of a shave.

     He stands in front of one of the neat little houses and shouts at the
     window.

     Inside the same window, we see a terrified WOMAN hugging a BOY who is
     about fifteen years younger than STEVE.

                              STEVE
                    But you've got to let me in, Mom!
                    I'm Steve, your son Steve.  Hey
                    listen, Steve, I'm you, only
                    older.  I'm trapped in the past.
                    Aliens did it.  I can't get back.
                    Riff Raff must have destroyed the
                    Transducer back at the Holiday
                    Inn.  I know it sounds crazy, it
                    is crazy, but it's true, Steve,
                    I'm you, you're me, only younger.
                    Why don't you let me in?  Why
                    don't you listen?

     The COPS arrive and start to drag him away.

                              STEVE
                    No!  no!  Listen, listen ..
                    they're here.  They're
                    everywhere, Alaska, Washington,
                    all over.  They use the showers,
                    the showers.

     We go into TIGHT CLOSE-UP on him.

                              STEVE
                    KEEP WATCHING THE SHOWERS!!!

     We CUT TO

64.  INT.  RIFF RAFF'S CHAMBER.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     He is closing the door behind him, making sure that the bolt is across.
     Then he glides towards Magenta's coffin.  He strokes its surface and then
     gently lifts the lid.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Hi honey, I'm home.

     He starts to climb inside.

     We go into END TITLES.



                                     THE END