The Musical World of Rocky Horror

Rocky Horror Show (1970s Era Script)        15,148 views

                      "THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW"

                           Richard O'Brien


MAGENTA:                Michael Rennie was ill
(As Usherette)          The day the earth stood still
                        But he told us where we stand
                        And Flash Gordon was there
                        In silver underwear
                        Claude Rains was the invisible man
                        Then something went wrong
                        For Fay Wray and King Kong
                        They got caught in a celluloid jam
                        Then at a deadly pace
                        It came from outer space
                        And this is how the message ran.

CHORUS:                 Science fiction - double feature
Phantoms do the         Dr X will build a creature
Oohhs etc.              See Androids fighting Brad and Janet
                        Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet
                        Oh - at the late night double feature
                        Picture show

MAGENTA:                I knew Leo G. Carrol
(As Usherette)          was over a barrel
                        When tarantula took to the hills
                        And I got really hot
                        When I saw Jeanette Scott
                        Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills
                        Dana Andrews said prunes
                        Gave him the rhunes
                        And passing them
                        used lots of skills
                        But when worlds collide 
                        Said George Pal to his bride
                        I'm going to give you some terrible thrills
                        Like a -



				Wedding bells are ringing -
				(Phantom voices)

				BRAD and JANET are both

JANET:                  Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful - didn't Betty look
                        radiantly beautiful - I can't believe it - just an
                        hour ago she was plain Betty Munroe and now she's
                        Mrs. Ralf Hapshatt.

BRAD:			Yes, Janet - Ralf's a lucky guy.

JANET:		        Yes.

BRAD:			Everyone knows Betty's a wonderful little cook.

JANET:		        Yes.

BRAD:			And Ralf himself will be in line for promotion in a
			year or two.

JANET:		        Yes.

BRAD:			Hey, Janet, I've got something to say
			I really loved the skillful way
			You beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet

			The river was deep but I swam it.		(Janet)
			The future is ours so let's plan it.		(Janet)
			So please don't tell me to can it.		(Janet)
			I've one thing to say and that's ...
			Damn it - Janet - I love you.
			The road was long but I ran it.			(Janet)
			There's a fire in my heart and you fan it.	(Janet)
			If there's one fool for you then I am it.	(Janet)
			I've one thing to say and that's ...
			Damn it - Janet - I love you.
			Here's a ring to prove I'm no joker
			(Bell voices)
			There's three ways that love can grow
			That's good - bad - or mediocre
			Janet - (Janet echoed B. backing voices)
			I love you so.

JANET:			Oh it's nicer than Betty Munroe had.		(Oh Brad)
			Now we're engaged and I'm so glad.		(Oh Brad)
			That you've met Mom and you know Dad.		(Oh Brad)
			I've one thing to say and that's ....
			Brad - I'm mad - for you too.

			Oh Brad.

BRAD:			Oh damn it.

JANET:			I'm mad.

BRAD:			Oh Janet.

JANET:			For you.

BRAD:			I love you too - there's one thing left
			to do and that's....				(Phantoms)
			Go see the man who began it			(Janet)
			When we met in his science exam it		(Janet)
			Made me give you the eye and then panic		(Janet)
			Now I've one thing to say and that's ....
			Damn it - Janet - I love you.

			Damn it Janet.

JANET:			Oh Brad I'm mad.

BRAD:			Damn it Janet.

BOTH:			I love you.


NARRATOR:		I would like - if I may - to take you on a strange

			It seemed a farily ordinary night
			When Brad Majors, and his fiancée
			Janet Weiss... (two young ordinary healthy
			kids)... left Denton that late November evening
			to visit a Dr. Evrett Scott ex tutor and now
			friend to both of them...

			It's true there were dark storm clouds, heavy - 
			black and pendulous - toward which they were
			driving, it's true also that the spare tyre they
			were carrying was badly in need of some air - but they
			being normal kids and on a night out - well - they
			were not going to let a storm spoil the events of
			their evening.
			On a night out...

			It was a night out they were to remember for a
			very - long - time.


				A car approaching through a stormy

BRAD:			Hmmm...

JANET:			What's the matter, Brad darling?

BRAD:			I think we took the wrong fork a few miles back there.
			We'd better go on ahead up the road and see if we can
			find our way back.

					(They move off)


BRAD:			Oh darn!  Janet.

JANET:			What was that bang?

BRAD:			We seem to have a blow-out in the front off-side tyre.

JANET:			Oh... (pause)


BRAD:			You'd better stay here and keep warm while I go for

JANET:			But where will you go?  We're in the middle of

BRAD:			Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few
			miles?  Maybe they have a telephone I might use.

JANET:			I'm coming with you.

BRAD:			There's no point in both of use getting wet.

JANET:			I'm coming with you.  Besides, darling, the owner
			of the phone may be a beautiful woman, and you
			may never come back.

BRAD:			Ha Ha Ha.

					(Phantoms take up the laughter -
					They exit)


JANET:			In the velvet darkness
			of the blackest night
			burning bright - there's a guiding star
			no matter what or who you are.

BRAD & JANET:		There's a light

ALL:			Over at the Frankenstein place

BRAD & JANET:		There's a light

ALL:			Burning in the fireplace

JANET:			There's a light... Light in the darkness of
			everybody's life.

BRAD:			I can see the flag fly
			I can see the rain
			Just the same - there has got to be
			Something better here - for you and me

BRAD & JANET:		There's a light

ALL:			Burning in the fireplace

BRAD:			There's a light... Light in the darkness of
			everybody's life.

RIFF RAFF:		(from doorway)
			The darkness must flow
			Down the river of nights dreaming
			Flow morphia slow let the sun and light
			Come streaming into my life

ALL:			Into my life

JANET & BRAD:		There's a light

ALL:			Over at the Frankenstein Place

JANET & BRAD:		There's a light

ALL:			Burning in the fireplace
			There's a light - light

JANET & BRAD:		In the darkness of everybody's life.

JANET:			(screams)

BRAD:			It's all right, Janet.

JANET:			Oh Brad let's go back.  I'm cold and I'm frightened.

BRAD:			Just a moment, Janet, they may have a telephone.

					(He rings the bell... No answer
					... RINGS again... At last the
					door opens)

RIFF RAFF:		(Looking past them as if for others, or someone
			else)  Hello.

BRAD:			Oh:  Uh:  Ahh:  Hi there, we're in a bit of a spot, I
			wonder could you help us - our car is broken down about
			2 miles back - do you have a telephone we might use...

RIFF RAFF:		(pause)  You're wet.

JANET:			Yes - the rain has been very heavy.

BRAD:			Yes.

RIFF RAFF:		Yes - (lightning)  I think you better both come inside.

JANET:			You're too kind.

NARRATOR:		And so - after braving the inclement weather, and some
 			not too little time - it seemed that fortune had smiled
			on Brad and Janet and that they had found the assis-
			tance that their plight required - or had they ? -
			There was certainly something about this house (to
			which, a flat tyre and a wet night had brought them)
			that made the both of them feel apprehensive and
			uneasy - But, if they were to reach their destination
			that night, they would have to ignore such feelings and
			take advantage of whatever help was offered.


				Interior DIMLY LIT.

RIFF RAFF:		Wait here.

JANET:			(looking around)   Oh Brad what sort of a place is
			this I'm frightened.

BRAD:			It's probably some sort of hunting lodge for rich
			weirdos - but you're shivering.

JANET:			Yes I'm wet.

BRAD:			Look feel this - there's hot air coming from this
			grill in the wall - take your raincoat and dry it here.
			I'll keep a look out for the undertaker.

JANET:			Oh!

BRAD:			For God's sake keep a grip on yourself Janet.
			I'm here - there's nothing to worry about.

					(She smiles)

			Here dry my coat too.

					(We are aware of FRANK looking
					at JANET - lights COME UP.
					BRAD and JANET whirl around
					see FRANK.  Freeze)

JANET:			Oh!

BRAD:			It's alright, Janet.

					(RIFF RAFF appears with

MAGENTA:		Master.

FRANK:			How do you do
			I see you've met my faithful handyman
			He's a little brought down
			Because when you knocked
			He thought you were the candyman
			Don't get strung out by the way that I look
			Don't judge a book by its cover
			I'm not much of a man
			By the light of day
			But by night I'm one hell of a lover

			I'm just a sweet Transvestite
			From Transexual

			Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
			You look like you're both pretty groovie
			Or if you want something visual that's not too
			We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

BRAD:			I'm glad we caught you at home
			Ah - could we use your phone
			We're both in a bit of a hurry
			We'll just say where we are
			Then go back to the car,
			We don't want to be any worry.

FRANK:			You got caught with a flat
			Well how about that
			Well babie's don't you panic
			By the light of the night
			It'll all seem alright
			I'll get you a satanic mechanic.


			Why don'tcha stay for the night	   (Servants - "night")
			Or maybe a bite			   (Servants - "bite")
			I could show you my favourite obsession
			I've been making a man
			With blond hair and a tan
			and he's good for relieving my tension.



					* * * * * *

			So come up to the lab
			and see what's on the slab
			I see you shiver with anticipation
			But maybe the rain
			Is really to blame
			So I'll remove the cause but not the symptom

					(FRANK exits.

					The SERVANTS undress JANET and
					BRAD.  They are reduced to 50's

BRAD:			(aside to JANET)  It's all right, Janet, everything's
			gonna be all right we'll just play along for now - and
			we'll pull out the aces when the time is right.

JANET:			This is no time for card tricks, Brad, are you sure
			we'll be alright?

BRAD:			I'm sure, Janet.  (to COLUMBIA, MAGENTA and
			RIFF RAFF)   Uh.  Hi, there - I'm Brad Majors,
			this is Janet Weiss - my fiancée - You are...

COLUMBIA:		You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's
			laboratory, a lot of people would give their right
			arm for the privilege.

BRAD:			People like you maybe.

COLUMBIA:		I've seen it.

JANET:			Is he... is Frank... your husband?

RIFF RAFF:		The master is not yet married, nor do I think ever 
			will be - we are simply his servants.

JANET:			Then he's very lucky.

MAGENTA:		Yeah - you're lucky - I'm lucky - he's lucky
			we're all lucky...

COLUMBIA:		All except Eddie.


JANET:			Eddie?

MAGENTA:		The delivery boy.


COLUMBIA:		His delivery wasn't good enough.

RIFF RAFF:		The master only wanted to help the boy better his

BRAD:			That's very commendable...

RIFF RAFF:		Yes, it seems like only yesterday since he went...

JANET:			Where?

RIFF RAFF:		To pieces.

					RAFF sing)

RIFF RAFF:		It's astounding - Time is fleeting
			Madness takes its toll
			But listen closely - not for very much longer
			I've got to keep control.
			I remember doing the time warp
			Drinking those moments when
			The Blackness would hit me - The void would be

ALL:			Let's do the Time Warp again (twice)

(MR. BASSMAN):		It's just a jump to the left

ALL:			And then a step to the right

NARRATOR:		With your hands on your hips

ALL:			You bring your knees in tight

TRIO:			But it's the pelvic thrust
			That starts to drive you insane

ALL:			Let's do the time warp again (twice)

MAGENTA:		It's so dreamy - oh Fantasy Free Me
			So you can't see me - no not at all
			In another dimension - with voyeuristic intention
			Well secluded - I'll see all
			With a bit of a mind flip - you're there in the
			time slip
			Nothing can ever be the same
			You're spaced out on sensation
			Like you're under sedation

			Let's do the time warp again (twice)

					(MAGENTA and RIFF RAFF make an
					extraterrestial sign to each other)

COLUMBIA:		Well I was walking down the street
			Just having a think
			When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink
			Well it shook me up, it took me by surprise
			He had a pick up truck and the devil's eyes
			Oh - he stared at me and I felt a change
			Time meant nothing - never would again

ALL:			Let's do the time warp again (twice)


					(COLUMBIA dances to half a verse
					of "Time Warp" as sung by other two)

ALL:			Let's do the Time Warp again (twice)



				The laboratory.

FRANK:			Unlock a mind - unmind a lock - it's the same as
			the beginning of the end - do you follow?

JANET:			No.

BRAD:			It's an anagram, Janet.

FRANK:			I wonder may I offer you something refreshing.


FRANK:			No.  You're right I won't - how delightful to have
			fresh faces around.  Magenta - Columbia - go and
			assist Riff Raff - I will entertain - Ahh.

BRAD:			Brad Majors.

FRANK:			Brad Majors.

BRAD:			And this is my fiancée Janet Weiss.

JANET:			Weiss.

BRAD:			Weiss.

FRANK:			Enchanté.  How nice - and what charming underclothes
			you both have - but here, put these on.  Oh but here.
			Thank you thing.

					(He hands them robes)

			It'll make you feel less vulnerable.  We don't often
			receive visitors here, let alone show them

BRAD:			Hospitality!  All we wanted was to use your phone,
			a reasonable request which you have chosen to ignore.

JANET:			Don't be ungrateful, Brad.

BRAD:			Ungrateful!!

FRANK:			How forceful you are, Brad, what a perfect example 
			of manhood - so dominant - you must be very proud,

JANET:			Yes.

FRANK:			Tell me Brad, do you have any tattoos?

BRAD:			Certainly not.

FRANK:			Oh well... (to JANET)  How about you?

					(Enter RIFF RAFF)

RIFF RAFF:		Everything is in readiness master, we merely
			wait for you to give the word.

FRANK:			Tonight, Brad and Janet, Paradise is to be mine...

JANET:			Oh how wonderful for you.

FRANK:			It was strange the way it happened
			one of those quirks of fate really
			one of those moments when...
			Everything looks black the chips are down
			Your back is against the wall
			You panic - you're trapped - there's no
			way out and even if there was it would
			probably be a one way ticket
			to the bottom of the bay.  And then
			suddenly you get a break - all the pieces
			seem to fit into place - what a sucker
			you'd been - what a fool - the answer
			was there all the time - it took a small
			accident to make it happen.

ALL:			(look at FRANK in blank amazement)

FRANK:			An accident, (MAGENTA and COLUMBIA repeat
			"accident")  Oh God, that's how I discovered the
			secret - that elusive ingredient - that spark that is
			the breath of life.  Yes - I have that knowledge I
			hold the key to life itself you see Brad and Janet you
			are fortunate for tonight is the time my beautiful
			creature is destined to be born...
			Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator 
			and then step the reactor power input up three
			more points...

JANET:			Brad!!

BRAD:			It's alright, Janet.

ROCKY:			The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head
			And I've got the feeling someone's
			Going to be cutting the thread
			Oh woe is me - my life is a misery
			Oh can't you see that I'm at the start
			of a pretty big downer

			I woke up this morning with a start when
			I fell out of the bed.

ALL:			That ain't no crime.

ROCKY:			And left from my dreaming was a feeling
			of unamiable dread.

ALL:			That ain't no crime.
			My high is low - I'm dressed up with no place
			to go and all I know is I'm at the
			start of a pretty big downer.

ROCKY:			(That ain't no crime)
								Oh no no no no

ALL:			(Sha la la la that ain't no crime)

ROCKY:			(That ain't no crime)
								Oh no no no no

ALL:			(Sha la la la that ain't no crime)
			(That ain't no crime)

NARRATOR:		Rocky Horror you need peace of mind - and I want
			to tell you that you're doing just fine
			You're the product of another time and
			feeling down well that's no crime.

ALL:			That ain't no crime.

ROCKY:			The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head

ALL:			That ain't no crime.

ROCKY:			And I've got the feeling someone's going
			be cutting the thread.

ALL:			That ain't no crime.

ROCKY:			Oh woe is me - my life is a mystery
			Oh can't you see that I'm at the start
			of a pretty big downer.
			(That ain't no crime)
								Oh no no no no
			(Sha la la la that ain't no crime)

FRANK:			Well really - that's no way to behave on your
			first day out.

ROCKY:			Well nobody's perfect - But I do think
			you made a pretty good job of the body work.

FRANK:			You are the result of may hours of toil - and now
			my beautiful creature you're ready for the ultimate

ROCKY:			Oh dear.

FRANK:			But first meet the family, Magenta, Rocky.

MAGENTA:		Hello Rocky.

ROCKY:			Hello Magenta.

FRANK:			Riff Raff - Rocky.

RIFF RAFF:		Hello Rocky.

ROCKY:			Hello Riff Raff.

FRANK:			Columbia - Rocky.

COLUMBIA:		Hello Rocky.

ROCKY:			Hello Columbia.

FRANK:			Hello.  Well, Brad and Janet, what do you think?

JANET:			I don't like men with too many muscles.

FRANK:			I didn't make him for you dear.

			He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval -
			A weakling weighing 98 pounds
			Got sand in his face when kicked to the ground
			His girl split on him
			And soon in the gym
			The sweat from his pores
			As he worked for his cause
			Made him glisten and gleam
			And with massage and steam
			He was thin but quite clean
			He was in good shape

ALL:			But the wrong shape

FRANK:			He ate nutritious High-Protein
			And swallowed raw eggs
			Tried to build up his shoulders,
			His chest, arms and legs
			Then a magazine advert with a new muscle plan

ALL:			In just seven days I can make you a man.

FRANK:			He'd done press ups and chin ups
			Clean and jerked.  Done the Snatch
			Thought dynamic tension must be a catch
			So he re-read the advert to see how it ran

ALL:			In just seven days I can make you a man.

					(A large container 6'6" - 7' high -
					4.5' wide resembling a 1940's fridge
					with the "Eddie" air-brushed on the
					door becomes lit - the door opens
					- "Eddie" appears.)


					He is battered and shows the
					occasional seam, wearing extremely
					thick crepe soled shoes, (black
					leather drainpipes, skin tight) -
					drape coat - no tie, open necked.
					(Must hint of Frankenstein's Monster)
					Clothes mustn't look new.  INTO -

EDDIE:			Whatever happened to Saturday night
			When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright
			It don't seem the same since cosmic light
			Came into my life and I thought I was divine
			I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go
			And listen to the music on the radio
			A saxophone was blowing on a Rock and Roll Show
			And you climbed in the back and you really had
			A good time

ALL:			Hot Patootie bless my soul
			I really love that Rock and Roll (four times)

EDDIE:			My head used to swim from the perfume I smelt
			My hands kind of fumbled with her white plastic belt.
			I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when
			I'd melt
			And she'd whisper in my ear tonight she really was
			Get back in front and put some hair oil on
			Buddy Holly was singing his very last song
			With your arm round your girl you'd try to
			sing along
			You felt pretty good cause you'd really had
			A good time.

ALL:			Hot Patootie bless my soul
			I really love that Rock and Roll.  (Repeat 8 times)

					(EDDIE exits back into the container)

FRANK:			One from the vaults.

ROCKY:			How can you keep him around.  He's so ugly.

FRANK:			A certain naive charm
			But no muscle
			We had a mental relationship -
			But a deltoid and a bicep
			A hot groin and a tricep
			Makes me shake
			Makes me want to take
			Charles Atlas by the hand.
ALL:			In just seven days I can make you a man.

FRANK:			I don't want no dissension
			Just dynamic tension

JANET:			I'm a muscle fan.

ALL:			In just seven days I can make you a man.

FRANK:			Dig it if you can.

ALL:			In just seven days I can make you a man.


NARRATOR:		There are those who say that life is an illusion -
			And reality as we know it, is merely a figment of
			our imaginations.  If this is so, Brad and Janet are
			quite safe.  But - there are some who have a far
			more physical philosophy - those who would stop at
			nothing to satisfy their base desires -
			It could be that Brad and Janet are among those who
			hold the devil's reins.



				Voices in BLACKOUT.

JANET'S:		Oh Brad - Oh yes - Yes my darling -
			What if..
BRAD'S:			It's all right Janet - everything's going to be all

JANET'S:		Oh I hope so my darling.  I'm so fri...

					(Lights UP)


FRANK:			I'm afraid so Janet but wasn't it nice...

JANET:			You beast - you monster - what have you done with

FRANK:			Mmm - nothing - why, do you think I should?

JANET:			You tricked me - I wouldn't have - I've never -

FRANK:			I know - but it wasn't all bad was it?
			Not really even half bad - in fact, I think perhaps
			you found it quite - pleasurable - Mmm - so soft
			so - sensual.

JANET:			Ahh - no - stop - I mean help - I - Brad - Ohhhh -

FRANK:			Shhh.  Brad's probably asleep by now - do you
			wan't him to see you like this.

JANET:			Like this?  Like how?  It's your fault you're to
			blame... I was - saving my self.

FRANK:			Well I'm sure you're not spent yet and it was an
			enjoyable experience was it not?

					(Lights DIM)

			You did like it didn't you.  There's no crime in
			giving yourself over to pleasure - is there?
			We could try for an action replay - Oh Janet
			you've wasted so much time already - Brad needn't
			know.  I won't tell him, Mmmm.


JANET:			Are you sure you won't tell him.  Ohhh...



				Voices in BLACKOUT.

JANET'S:		Oh Brad - Oh yet - Yes my darling.

BRAD'S:			It's all right Janet everything's going to be all

JANET'S:		I hope so my darling.

					(Lights UP)

BRAD:			You!

FRANK:			I'm afraid so Brad - but wasn't it nice.

BRAD:			Why you - What have you done with Janet?

FRANK:			Mmm - nothing - why, do you think I should?

BRAD:			You tricked me, I wouldn't have - I've never -

FRANK:			I know - but it wasn't all bad was it?  Not really
			even half bad, in fact, I think you found it quite
			pleasurable - Oh so soft - so sensual.

BRAD:			Ah.  No - stop.  I mean - Janet - Ohh Janet.

FRANK:			Shhh - Janet's probably asleep by now - Do you
			want her to see you like this?

BRAD:			Like this - Like how - It's your fault.  You're
			to blame - I thought it was the real thing.

FRANK:			A bottle of coke?  Oh come on Brad admit it.  It
			was enjoyable wasn't it?  You liked it didn't you?
			There's no crime in giving yourself over to
			pleasure - is there?

					(Lights DIM)

			We could try for an action replay.  Oh Brad you've
			wasted so much time already - Janet needn't know.
			I won't tell her - Mmm...


BRAD:			Are you sure you won't tell her - Ohhh...

RIFF RAFF:		(on intercom)  Master - The labooratory is empty.
			Rocky has vanished - the new playmate is loose
			and somewhere in the building.

FRANK:			Oh - Wow - What a - Mmm - Oh - Coming.


				Laboratory.  Enter JANET.

JANET:			What's happening here - Where's Brad? - Where's
			anybody?  If only we hadn't made this journey - if
			only the car hadn't broken down - if only we were
			amongst friends or sane persons.

NARRATOR:		"If" and "only" - two small words - words that kept
			repeating themselves again and again in Janet's
			thoughts - but it was too late to go back now - it
			were as if she were riding a giant tidal wave, it
			would be folly to fight against it - her only chance
			would be to ride it out - adapt - and perhaps also -

					(Enter ROCKY)

ROCKY:			Oh!  It's you - look I'm trying to hide from my
			creator and his minion - they scare me - I feel
			that all is not well here.  I have been thinking a
			lot about - (Eddie) I have a feeling of foreboding.

JANET:			It's all like some terrible dream.

ROCKY:			Is it true you don't like men with too many muscles?

JANET:			Well...

ROCKY:			Have you got any lip gloss?

JANET:			I'm engaged to Brad, just the same as Betty Munroe was
			to Ralf Hapshatt.  But Frank's kisses overwhelmed
			me with an ecstasy I had never dreamed of before -
			hot burning kisses - I could see Brad's face before
			me, and my mind screamed - No!! - but my lips
			were hungry, too hungry - I wanted to be loved,
			and loved completely - my body throbbed excitedly -
			Oh Brad, Brad my darling how could I have done
			this to you.
ROCKY:			This room is a womb to me.

JANET:			Yes - there you see, it's instinctive - you returned
			here for one thing - security.  Oh where's Brad -

					(She fiddles with TV monitor)

			What have they done with him?

NARRATOR:		Janet's feelings ran wild as she frantically manipu-
			lated the selector switch on the T.V. monitor - The
			screen threw up images of empty rooms and corridors -
			finally she stopped - at Frank's bedroom.
			(sees FRANK kissing BRAD)  Aaahhh!!

ROCKY:			Oh you can't rely on anyone.
JANET:			Oh Brad! - how could you?

NARRATOR:		If one is suffering the pangs of remorse for a
			sexual indiscretion - it ould seem logical that the
			transgressor would be sympathetic toward a loved
			one caught in a similar misdemeanour - But emotion
			is an irrational and powerful master - and from what
			Janet witnessed on the monitor - there seemed little
			doubt that she was indeed its slave.

JANET:			I was feeling done in
			Coudn't win
			I'd only ever kissed before
			I thought there's no use getting
			into heavy petting
			It only leads to trouble
			And seat wetting.

			Now all I want to know
			Is how to go
			I've tasted blood and I want more
			I'll put up no resistance
			I want to stay the distance
			I've got an itch to scratch
			And I need assistance

CHORUS:			Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a - Touch me.
			I want to be dirty
			Thrill me chill me fulfil me
			Creature of the night.

			Then if anything grows
			When you pose
			I'll oil you up and rub you down
			And that's just one small fraction
			Of the main attraction
			You need a friendly hand
			And I need action.


			(CHORUS.  After Janet has sung it at least once
			by herself, ROCKY comes in with ("Hot Patootie
			Bless My Soul, I Really Love that Rock and Roll")
			and sings it against Touch-a Touch-a etc.)



RIFF RAFF:		Aaaggghhh - Mercy!

FRANK:			(with whip) How did it happen - I understood you
			were to be watching.

RIFF RAFF:		I was only away for a moment.

FRANK:			See if you can find him on the monitor.

					(Click - Brad's empty room -
					switch - switch - switch -
					Janet's room)

FRANK:			Oh Bradlette

RIFF RAFF:		I've located him in the female's quarters, Master.

FRANK:			Rocky!!

BRAD:			Janet!!  How could she.  That's it - it's over.

NARRATOR:		Over!  What was over?  Not the night that was
			certain.  Brad and Janet's engagement?  Their love
			for one another?  Who could say - for questions such
			as these are not to be answered by the academic
			they must be left for the heart to solve and Brad
			you may be sure, had plenty of heart.

BRAD:			Once in a while
			She don't want to call you
			Speaking on the telephone
			And once in your life
			She won't want to know you
			You look around
			The one you found she is gone

			And that's all the time
			That it takes
			For a heart to turn to stone
			The sweeter the wine
			The harder to make the break
			You hear someting
			About someone you thought you'd known

			So baby don't cry
			Like there's no tomorrow
			After the night there's brand new day
			And there'll be no pain
			And no more sorrow
			So wash your face
			And phone my place.  It'll be okay.

			And that's all the time
			That it takes
			For a heart to beat again
			So give me a sign
			That a lover makes
			You look around the one
			Found is back again...

FRANK:			How maudlin - how pathetic - Your baggage has
			dared to defile my beautiful creature - oh Rocky
			how could you.

					(Static - on monitor - outside -
					a figure creeping toward hidden

RIFF RAFF:		Master - we have a visitor

BRAD:			Great Scott - Scotty - Dr. Evrett Scott.

RIFF RAFF:		You know this earth - this person?

BRAD:			Yes, I do he's an old friend of mine.

FRANK:			I see - so this wasn't simply a chance meeting -
			you came here with a purpose.

BRAD:			That's not true - my car broke down - I told you.

FRANK:			I know what you told me, Brad - but this Dr.
			Evrett Scott, his name is not unknown to me.

BRAD:			He was a science teacher at Denton High.

FRANK:			And he now works for your Government -
			doesn't he, Brad?  He's attached to the bureau
			of the investigation of that which you call
			U.F.O's - that's right, isn't it, Brad?

BRAD:			He might be - I don't know.

RIFF RAFF:		The intruder is entering the building, Master.

FRANK:			Ah he's in the Zen room.  Seal off all exits - and all
			doors - except for those that lead here -
			Riff Raff - bring Rocky and Janet here - I think we
			should make this a social occasion.  The three
			unexpected guests shall entertain us with a floor
			show - which I shall direct.


				Enter DOCTOR SCOTT in wheelchair
				COLUMBIA pushing him.

COLUMBIA:		Hi - Ho - Silver.

BRAD:			Dr. Scott!

SCOTTY:			Brad - what are you doing here?

FRANK:			Don't play games, Dr. Scott. It was part of your 
			plan, was it not, that Brad Majors and his female
			should check the layout for you - unfortunately for
			you all there is to be a change of plans - I'm sure
			you're adaptable, Dr. Scott - I know Brad is.

SCOTTY:			I can assure you that Brad's presence here comes
			as a complete surprise to me.  As does the set up
			you have here - I didn't exptct it to be quite so...

FRANK:			Sophisticated - Dr. Scott?  Or should I say Dr. Von

BRAD:			What exactly are you implying?

SCOTTY:			That's alright, Brad... Ah - this machine here...

BRAD:			What do you think it is, Doc?

SCOTTY:			At this precise moment it's hard to tell - but it
			seems to be made of a metal that is not of this earth
			- I would say that it was from another planet.

					(Doors OPEN.  Enter JANET)

JANET:			Dr. Scott!!

SCOTTY:			Janet!

FRANK:			Rocky!

ROCKY:			Piss off.

FRANK:			Listen - I made you and I can break you just as
			easily - I'll pull your plug out

SCOTTY:			I suppose you intend to do with us as you did with


RIFF RAFF:		Sshhh.

BRAD:			Eddie - I've seen him, he looks terrible.

FRANK:			What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott?

SCOTTY:			I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things -
			you see Eddie happened to be my nephew.

BRAD:			Dr. Scott!

SCOTTY:			Yes, Brad - my sister's boy.  I knew he was in with
			a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined - aliens.
BRAD:			Tell them, Doc.

SCOTTY:			From the day he was born, he was trouble
			He was the thorn in his mother's side.
			She tried in vain,

NARRATOR:		But he never caused her nothing but pain.

SCOTTY:			He left home the day she died.
			From the day she was gone
			All he wanted
			Was a rockin' roll porn and a motor bike.
			Shootin' up junk,

NARRATOR:		He was a low down cheap little punk.

SCOTTY:			Taking everyone for a ride.

CHORUS:			When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy,
			You knew he was a no good kid.
			When he threatened your life with a switch blade knife,

FRANK:			What a guy.
JANET:			Made you cry.

SCOTTY:			And I did.

COLUMBIA:		Everybody shoved him.
			I very nearly loved him.
			I say hey listen to me
			Stay sane inside insanity.
			But he shut the door and threw away the key.

SCOTTY:			But he must have been drawn in to something.
			Making him warn me in a note which read

ALL:			What's it say, What's it say.

SCOTTY:			I'm out of my head.

NARRATOR:		Hurry or I may be dead.

SCOTTY:			They mustn't carry out their evil deeds.



FRANK:			What a guy,

JANET:			Made you cry,

SCOTTY:			And I did.


FRANK:			Say a prayer for Eddie, I just defrosted him.  (He
			pulls out a bag of blood and gore)  His destiny is in
			the bag.

MAGENTA:		I'll put him down the waste disposal.

FRANK:			Clever girl.

BRAD:			Why you...

FRANK:			(Flicks a switch) There, that should restrain you all.

JANET:			My feet - there's something wrong with my feet.

SCOTTY:			My wheels!  My God, I can't move my wheels.

BRAD:			It's as if we were glued to the spot.

FRANK:			You are, so quake with fear you tiny fools - O.K.
			it's startime - Riff Raff set the sonic transducer on
			programme 8 secure all levels at zero -

MAGENTA:		Relax.

SCOTTY:			You won't find earth people quite the easy mark that
			you imagine - this sonic transducer!  It is I suppose
			some type of audio vibratory physiomolecular
			transport device!

FRANK:			You'd better believe it, baby.

BRAD:			You mean...?

SCOTTY:			Yes, Brad - it's something we ourselves have been
			working on.  But it seems our friend here has found
			a way of perfecting it - a device that is capable of
			breaking down solid matter and then projecting it
			through space and who knows, perhaps even time itself.

JANET:			You're going to send us to another planet?

FRANK:			Planet - Shmanet Janet
			Tell you once
			Won't tell you twice
			You'd better wise up Janet Weiss

			Y'apple pie
			Don't taste too nice
			You'd better wise up Janet Weiss

			I've laid the seed
			It should be all you need
			You're as sensual
			As a pencil
			Wound up like an 'E' or first string
			When we made it
			Did ja hear a bell ring?

			Y' got a block
			Take my advice
			You'd better wise up Janet Weiss

			The transducer
			Will seduce yah
			It's something you'll get used to
			A mental mind-fuck can be nice

			You'd better wise up - Janet Weiss
			You'd better wise up
			Build your thighs up
			You'd better wise up

NARRATOR:		And then she cries out.

JANET:			Stop!!

FRANK:			Don't get hot and flustered
			Use a bit of mustard.

ALL:			*You're a hot dog
(Voices building)	But you'd better not try to hurt her
			Frank Furter

			(* This keeps repeating and one by one they
			are released by FRANK signalling MAGENTA
			to pull the switch - in turn they make for
			FRANK and are sprayed by RIFF RAFF and
			become drugged.  He rushes them into the transducer

					(MAGENTA keeps singing
					after everyone else has stopped)

FRANK:			Magenta, relax.

					(RIFF RAFF sprays her)

			Columbia - The artistes are in a molecular
			state somewhere between entrance and exit.
			(RIFF RAFF sprays her)  When they've pulled
			themselves together - see that they are
			prepared for the floorshow.

COLUMBIA:		Oh Wow - I can dig it - much - far out - what a
			gas - that's groovy - I'm hip, man - it's like a
			trip - oh nice one - freak out baby - dig you later.

FRANK:			It's not easy having a good time - even smiling
			makes my face ache - and my children turn on
			me - Rocky's behaving just as Eddie did - maybe
			I made a mistake in splitting his brain between the
			two of them.

MAGENTA:		When do we return to Transalvania? - I grow weary
			of this world.

FRANK:			Magenta I am indeed grateful to both you and your
			brother Riff Raff - you have both served me well -
			loyalty such as yours must be rewarded, and you
			will discover that when the mood takes me, I can
			be quite generous.

MAGENTA:		I ask for nothing, Master.

FRANK:			And you shall receive it in abundance - come - our
			guests will be growing restless. (exits)

					(MAGENTA and RIFF RAFF look
					at one another - they make an
					extraterrestial sign.  EXIT)

NARRATOR:		And so, by some extraordinary coincidence - fate
			it seems had decided that Brad and Janet should
			keep that appointment with their friend Dr. Evrett
			Scott.  But, it was to be in a situation which none
			of them could have possibly foreseen - And, just a
			few hours after announcing their engagement Brad
			and Janet had both tasted forbidden fruit - This in
			itself was proof that their host was a man of little
			morals and some persuasion -

			What further indignities were they to be subjected
			to... ? - And what of the sonic transducer and the
			floorshow that had been spoken of? - What indeed? -
			From what had gone before it was clear that this
			was to be no picnic.


				(Each enters singly - wearing black
				stocking and suspenders and black
				underwear and finally they become
				a slow-motion chorus line.)

COLUMBIA:		It was great
			When it all began
			I was a regular Franky Fan
			But it was over when he had the plan
			To start working on a muscle-man
			Now the only thing that gives me hope
			Is my love of a certain dope
			Rose tints my world keeps me
			Safe from my trouble and pain.

ROCKY:			I'm just seven hours old
			Truly beautiful to behold
			And somebody should be told
			My libido hasn't been controlled
			Now the only thing I've come to trust
			Is an orgasmic rush of lust
			Rose tints my world keeps me
			Safe from my trouble and pain.

BRAD:			It's beyond me
			Help me mommy
			I'll be good you'll see
			Take this dream away
			What's this, let's see
			I feel sexy
			What's come over me
			Here it comes again

JANET:			I feel released
			Bad times deceased
			My confidence has increased
			Reality is here
			The game has been disbanded
			My mind has been expanded
			It's a gas that Frankie's landed
			His lust is so sincere
FRANK:			What ever happened to Fay Wray
			That delicate satin draped frame
			As it clung to her thigh
			How I started to cry
			For I wanted to be dressed just the same.

			Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
			Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
			Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
			And sensual daydreams to treasure forever -
			Can't you just see it.

			Don't dream it - Be it

			Don't dream it - Be it

			Don't dream it - Be it

					(This continues fading slowly and
					through this comes SCOTTY's
					thoughts - as he sings, the blanket
					reveals his stocking-clad legs)

SCOTTY:			Hmm.. We've got to get out of this trap
			Before this decadence saps our wills
			I've got to be strong and try to hang on
			Or my mind may well snap
			And my life will be lived for the thrills

BRAD:			It's beyond me
			Help me mommy
JANET:			God bless Lili St. Cyr.

FRANK:			(screaming) MY MY MY MY

			I'm a wild and an untamed thing
			I'm a bee with a deadly sting
			Get a hit, and your mind goes ping
			Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing
			So let the party and the sounds rock on
			Gonna shake it till the life has gone
			Rose tint my world
			Keep me safe from my trouble and pain.	

					(They all sing "We're a wild and
					an untamed thing" - right through

					RIFF RAFF and MAGENTA enter
					dressed in extraterrestial
					national costume)

RIFF RAFF:		Frank n Furter
			It's all over
			Your mission is a failure
			Your life style's too extreme
			I'm your new commander
			You now are my prisoner
			We return to Transalvania
			Prepare the transit beam.

					(ALL freeze)

FRANK:			Wait - I can explain

					(He is left alone)

			On the day I went away

ALL:			Goodbye

FRANK:			Was all I had to say

ALL:			Now I

FRANK:			Want to come again and stay
ALL:			Oh my

FRANK:			Smile and that will mean I may

			I've seen blue skies
			Throught the tears in my eyes
			And I realise I'm going home

			Everywhere it's been the same

ALL:			Feeling

FRANK:			Like I'm outside in the rain
ALL:			Wheeling

FRANK:			Free to try and find a game

ALL:			Dealing

FRANK:			Cards for sorrow cards for pain

			I've seen blue skies
			Through the tears in my eyes
			And I realise - I'm going home
			I'm going home
			I'm going home


MAGENTA:		How sentimental.

RIFF RAFF:		And also presumptious of you - you see when I said
			'we' were to return I referred only to Magenta and
			myself - I'm sorry however if you found my words
			misleading - you see you are to remain here - in
			spirit anyway -

					(He produces a ray gun)

SCOTTY:			Great heavens - that's a laser.

RIFF RAFF:		Yes, Dr. Scott, a laser capable of emitting a beam
			of pure anti-matter.
BRAD:			You mean you're going to kill him? - What's his crime.
FRANK:			Oh Brad.

SCOTTY:			You saw what had become of Eddie - Society must
			be protected.
RIFF RAFF:		Exactly, Dr Scott - Now Frank-n-Furter, your time
			has come - say goodbye to all this - and hello to

FRANK:			Do your worst - inferior one.
COLUMBIA:		No!!  No!!

					(She throws herself between
					She and FRANK are both killed.

					ROCKY bellows and beats his chest,
					picks up FRANK.  RIFF RAFF fires
					again and again until finally ROCKY
					dies.  Spectacularly)

BRAD:			Good God.


JANET:			You've killed them.

MAGENTA:		I thought you liked them - they liked you.

RIFF RAFF:		(screams) They didn't like me - They never liked
			me.  You saw the way things were - the way they were
SCOTTY:			You did right.

RIFF RAFF:		A decision had to be made.

SCOTTY:			You're O.K. by me.

RIFF RAFF:		Dr. Scott I'm sorry about our nephew.

SCOTTY:			Yes - perhaps it's for the best.

RIFF RAFF:		You should leave now, Dr. Scott
			While it is still possible
			We are about to beam the entire house
			Back to the planet of transexual
			In the galaxy of Transalvania
			Go now -

					(RIFF RAFF and MAGENTA look at one
					another.  They start to laugh quietly -
					it builds)

MAGENTA:		I wonder if I remembered to lock up the dogs -
			(they laugh louder)

RIFF RAFF:		No matter, Magenta - activate the transit crystal.

BRAD:			I've done a lot
			God knows I've tried
			To find the truth
			I've even lied
			But all I know
			Is down inside

ALL:			I'm bleeding

JANET:			And super heroes
			Come to feast
			To taste the flesh
			Not yet deceased
			And all I know
			Is still the beast

ALL:			Is feeding

			Ahh Ahh etc. ...


NARRATOR:		And crawling on the planets face
			Some insects called the human race
			Lost in time
			And lost in space

ALL:			And meaning.

					(SCOTTY, BRAD and JANET are
					left alone with nothing
					but the wind.)



MAGENTA:		Science Fiction - double feature
(As Usherette)		Frank has built and lost his creature
			Darkness has conquered Brad and Janet
			The servants gone to a distant planet
			Oh - at the late night double feature
			Picture show - I want to go - Ohh -
			To the late night double feature picture show.